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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

I normally like my Tuesday routine... but it's proving difficult tonight

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Re: Running

@rav3n?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

hiii @avant-garde how's things going in your world?

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@rav3n

The darkness around mother's Day is all starting to hit, the lead up is always worse than the day

Oh and stupid dentist tomorrow

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Re: Running

absolutely hear that, the lead is tough @avant-garde oh and how did the physio go last week?

i'm not a fan of the dentist either eek, is it a general check up?

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Re: Running

@rav3n

  1. No hassles at all with the chiro last week
  2. No, this is the initial appointment in what will become a treatment plan
  • 2 extractions
  • 5 fillings
  • Partial dentures

I'm a fair whack scared, I've had 2 traumatizing dental experiences

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

oops sorry chiro** not physio, i always mix the two up. @avant-garde glad it went okay!!

so fair to be scared, i'm hoping that the initial appt will run smoothly and perhaps creating that plan will help you feel a lil less scared in knowing whats coming up. it's tough tho hey, esp when you've had traumatising experiences in the past. got my fingers crossed that this fresh new dentist will lead to a fresh, positive/neutral experience.

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Re: Running

@rav3n

I got a female dentist so that's good, they have tv screens on the ceiling

I've kicked dentists before when they didn't listen to me

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omg tv on the ceiling is so good, my clinic has just a bright light in my face so i just end up closing my eyes @avant-garde and glad you got a female dentist too.

that sounds like a rough experience for sure, it's definitely uncomfy and hard not being heard while you're feeling vulnerable and scared.

i gotta hop off soon but i hope the appt goes okay!! night 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

Dentist in an hour, need coffee then brush teeth, I have my survival kit

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