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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

1,351 - 1,360 of 3,558

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde oh hun, that's really crappy. It's good you've recognised what's going on.

*Offers to wrap you up in gentle hug*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I knew it was the male chiro that did it... my seizures are almost undetectable, apparently I just twitch... my eyes are shut and I just twitch...

It was during treatment that it happened...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

That's so intense @avant-garde and he was a stranger too??

Are you home atm hun?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Yeah, he'd been there before but it was the first time he treated me...

Yeah I'm home now

*violently shakes and cries*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde gladness, you're in your safe zone where he cannot touch you again.

*holds you no matter how hard the sobs get*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

*lets you hold me*

you won't hurt me

safe

safe

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde no never 💜

*sings softly of sweet things*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I like that you use purple hearts...

My physio is a guy but he knows my history and is incredibly gentle and understanding with me, he knows to not touch me unless absolutely necessary and talks through everything he does making sure I completely understand before he does anything.

Content/trigger warning
today I came to when his groin brushed against my head and I jerked away

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde ach that's tricky, sounds like it was an accident but.... too late. Did you speak about it/does he feel like a safe enough person to talk to about it?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

He was a fill in for this week, he did his 5 week stint with the last lot... I'm hoping that next week I get the person I'm used to, she's lovely, that she can write on my file that I can't have a male due to my history and nobody else has to know.

*clings tightly, still trembling*

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