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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I'm tired...

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Re: Running

*throws pillows at @Jynx*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Can't tell if computer or human error @avant-garde but missed ya first notification. So, very fair.

*gets hit in face with pillow*

I have to gooooooo 😣

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Not fair @Jynx not fair

*curls up crying in the corner*

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Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde , I'm here if you want a chat.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

maybe... I don't even know why I'm crying...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hugs @avant-garde .

I'm here, reading and waiting to listen and to sit with you. Even if you don't know why you are crying, that's okay. There is no pressure to let me (or the community) know.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

Jynx, Rav3n and you always engage with me when I tag and I like that, I engage here when I'm overwhelmed and lonely to prevent dangerous thoughts... I suck at small talk, I know that... I don't feel the pressure to small talk here...

I don't like it when people just support and not respond, unless it's one of the social threads, or it's appleblossom, I'm kind of used to it from her...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Thanks for sharing what works for you @avant-garde . We are all different, so it's good to know what works for each member - even though we don't always get it right.

Any hymns on your mind lately?

I don't 'celebrate' Easter, but we have a church retreat over the Easter. So that's pretty much all day with songs, gatherings, lunch, dinner, testimonies, Bible Teaching.

Are you doing much over the Easter break?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

No particular hymns, just the usual I sing when I'm overwhelmed in public.

I don't like Easter, people are more idiotic on the roads during it, everyone has family, it's more triggering.

I will get the kinder massive egg for my inner child though... left it late to find one, we will find one though.

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