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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

I think it's unfortunately rare for people to realise how isolating it is to be misunderstood @avant-garde. The lack of the benefit of the doubt though.... frustrating. Not something you should have to put effort into but - would it be possible to ask and advocate for people to try to give you benefit of the doubt more often?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I didn't understand the last sentence

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Was a bit convoluted yeah lol @avant-garde

I was asking if it is feasible to ask people like 'hey, can you please pause and maybe try to give me the benefit of the doubt more often?'

But also had the notion that you should not have to advocate for that, because you should get benefit of doubt anyway. Hence the first half of the sentence!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

That would require them to have some scrap of humility which is like asking a bull not to run at a red flag

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde sigh.... tis true. Those people are what my friends and I call 'energy vampires' cos dealing with them sucks all the life out of ya.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Vampires in the church! Actually that sounds about right...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde bahaha that sounds like it could be a children's book!! Or maybe young adult lol

Time is slipping as always, bah humbug. Much going on tomorrow hun?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Hospital appointment then best friend

You?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I think I have a psych appt.... woops nearly forgot, you actually reminded me!! 😅 Thanks!!

And then I shall be here!! Yay 😊

I gots to dash, hope you have a lovely time with your best friend tomorrow!! Chat to ya tomozz? Unless you and your friend and too busy chatting!!

Rest well hun, hugs!!

🫂🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx!

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