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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde those can be vital. I imagine you're there now - lemme know if/when free to chat 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

*kicks wall angrily repeatedly*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde *approaches and motions if you want me to kick the wall too?*

Just playin... sounds like some Big Feels?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

"be prepared that our next session will likely be our last one"

*kicks wall crying*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh noooo @avant-garde yeah that's a wall-kicker for sure. Grief, rage, confusion, rejection, any of those feeling strong for you right now?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Anger... rejection... hurt... abandoned...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

hey @avant-garde popping in to share some love. those are some heavy emotions to sit with, hope you know you're not sitting alone. 💙

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Mm @avant-garde so it was a meaningful relationship for sure. Do you want to talk about like, what next steps are and stuff or brain is still processing the shock mayhap?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx processing shock and currently at friends place, kind of glad I had this lined up for after

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Friends dog

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