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Never being in a relationship

Never being in a relationship

Does anyone here believe they are destined to not being in a relationship? I feel this way a lot as I feel like I’m not a desirable person.

I’ve worked hard to be content and satisfied in life but I feel like that’s just gaslighting myself to think that’s what I need to be accepted.

I feel so sad

516 replies

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In response to: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

@Appleblossom

I hear you and I am glad to hear that you have boundaries about how to meet someone.

I think we are all different. I have been on my own for years and would like to be in a relationship. I think its me hitting the proverbial "working-on-myself" brick wall lately and I feel absolutely done.

I feel like I have a lot of love to give too and I just want to express this side of me. I hate feeling suppressed.

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

I cant sop feeling triggered. This life I live is hell

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

hey @Former-Member sounds like you're overwhelmed, what's happening for you?

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

@rav3n

Every single day, people talk about relationships and how happy they are. I am surrounded by others who feel supported and loved (in a romantic way). I dont have that at all and I hate it. I am now officially planning, I cant take this world. There is no support for this issue and all the resources I find on the Internet are all about people who already have a relationship. I cant deal with this anymore.

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear how much you are suffering with this. I have sent you an email checking in with you. If you are feeling suicidal please call LifeLine on 13 11 14 or 000 if in immediate danger. I encourage you to keep reaching out here for support

optimisticc

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

Hey @Former-Member it sounds like things felt really overwhelming and isolating last night. I just wanted to check in and let you know that we're here for you

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

Hey @Former-Member , What exactly does this support look like that you are longing for?

Do you think focusing your energy on something you don't have is helpful?

Have you been at work?

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

@tyme

Isn’t that a part of life when you don’t have something and you want it to be some of your energy into making it a reality?

You don’t have a house? You try to save money so you can buy one or rent one.

You don’t know how to play the guitar? You spend 10-15 minutes everyday practicing.
You want more friends? You try to find new ways of meeting others.

I don’t focus on this entirely, I have other things I do. I’m making a concept album right now and have finished half of it. Ive lost a good portion of weight since last year.

ive also done the “just focus on your hobbies and interests and people will come into your life”. It’s a fallacy. It’s not true, and it’s a complete lie. We’ve all been sold this lie about life. It’s why I hate this planet so much.

See, everything I do is wrong. No matter how hard I try or what I do with my life, it’s always the wrong thing. I hate this so much, I’m done trying and I’m done trying to exist on this planet. Maybe this is why I suck at dating because I’m one of those people where everyone sees fault in me and runs away from me.

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship


@Former-Member wrote:

Maybe this is why I suck at dating because I’m one of those people where everyone sees fault in me and runs away from me.


Actually, now that you say this, it really makes me think @Former-Member . If you can't 'love' yourself, how can you expect others to? That is the thought I am having.

As for longing for the things you don't have, I feel that there is a difference between hoping and 'dictating' that something MUST go a certain way? I'm not really good at explaining it.

So I guess with hoping, it's the idea that you keep going in hope of achieving something.

Whereas the 'other thing' (don't know the word) is when you tell yourself you MUST have something or like is not worth it.

I can give examples, but I don't know the right words to use. Sorry.

Anyway, good to read you have been working on your album. How was your day otherwise?

In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship

Re: Never being in a relationship

@tyme

I respectively disagree with the first statement. I dont have the energy to fully articulate why I disagree with it but I know it's fast becoming a 'hated' statement amongst people who are perpetually single. Hand on heart, thats not my issue whatsoever. That wasn't what I meant either with my original statement. I have a pragmatic language issue for one, I think women hear me speak sometimes and think I am a little weird and then run away from me.

I keep going because I hope it will happen but I am also trying to work at it to make it a reality. I dont like my efforts being dismissed due to how far back I have had to come. Again, I dont have the energy to articulate why, I just know my gaps but there isn't a service that can help support me.

I am zapped, work is the only thing that distracts me but it also makes it hard because there are reminders everywhere. I am the only person in the entire English faculty who is single and it shows on some days. Its hard to get up and its hard to function

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