Never being in a relationship

Hmm @Former-Member that's a big question, and one that has me a bit concerned about you. Are you worried about your safety at all?

My answer to you is this - yes, life is worth it; worth all the pain, the struggles, the heartache, because what's the alternative? Depends on your beliefs I suppose but it will mean the end of all potential for change, growth, and exciting new experiences. And you might not believe that those things are even possible, and that's okay! Neither did I once, heck I am surprised I made it to 30. But humans aren't static, we change - it's the only constant in our lives. You have the potential for change too, I know you do 💜

@Jynx

I'm not worried about my safety anymore. I dont care about my safety at all. Honestly I dont care about a lot of things anymore. My heart has been ripped up and tossed aside too many times for me to repair it anymore. I have tried, seriously tried, but I am emotionally and mentally dead. Life sucks and it's only going to get worse for us all.

I cant actually feel my heart anymore. I have no feelings and no personality. [Removed by moderator]

I can hear how overwhelming it is for you @Former-Member - I'm wondering what kind of support you feel would be helpful in this moment?

I am logging off now, but there's always people around to connect to.

Please be gentle with yourself 💜

@Jynx

I dont know what support I need specifically. If I knew I would ask for it.

But I just want to feel, I want to feel emotions and actually have a sense of what its like to be human:

- I want to know what its like to be touched.

- I want to know what its like to have sex

- I want to know what its like to be intimate with someone

- I want to know what its like to be held.

I am 30 freaking years old and I dont know what any of these feelings are like. Please just end me now

@Jynx @tyme @rav3n @Ru-bee @RiverSeal

Like I have connected beyondblue too and there just isn't anything out there is there? Nothing. No resources whatsoever, single people are destined to be lambs to the slaughter and have no meaning or purpose.

I am terrified and scared that I will never be in a relationship. I feel like there are no services or supports out there for single people who dont know what to do or what they are doing wrong. I really need help because I am trying to connect with women and I find that I get absolutely nowhere despite that I know others who have no difficulties in this area. I really need help or guidance or something as I am struggling immensely.

What does it feel like to be intimate with someone or have sex? I wouldn't know at all. I hate this world and this planet. I have no idea how to deal with this stuff. I have spoken about this stuff for years and all I get is vapid cliches and platitudes, no meaningful strategies or resources. Its absolutely heartbreaking

Christmas is going to suck tomorrow

hey there @Former-Member just catching up on your posts. sorry to hear last night was quite rough. totally okay if you're not sure what sort of support you need. i can hear your frustration in not having achieved your list yet, and unfortunately our forums aren't equipped to provide relationship/intimacy advice to the level you're looking for. have you spoken to a GP about how much this has been effecting you? i wonder if they can connect you with some services.

i hear how isolated you feel in this, and i'm sorry you feel this way. i did have a google today and read some articles and bits from people who are also in their 30s and never been in a relationship, and one of them reminded me of the things you mentioned (might have to scroll down) about what others have said to you: Being the friend who has never been in a relationship | SBS Voices

you are most definitely not alone in those feelings. some people just don't talk about it openly, but it doesn't mean there aren't more people in similar boats as you. also i can't recall if you mentioned reaching out to Mensline or not - have you?

is there anything you can do to make Christmas a lil less sucky? what's your plans for tomorrow?

@rav3n

I understand, I wasn't necessarily looking for advice to that level. I was just expressing my frustrations and sadness at not having experienced any of these things.

I did read the article and it is refreshing to actually hear these stories. It probably is more common than we realise but there is no space to talk about it at all.

I could speak to a GP but they may just suggest me to a psychologist and I dont want to see one anymore. They are expensive and it's just a merry-go-round. I will just get the usual crap like the comments in the article. I have also had a GP say the same exact things to me one day even though he is happily married and has three kids.

I have tried mensline before but they too also give me the same vapid cliches. No one is immune to them and it shows how little we understand about this issue (we havent got a freakin' clue what to say or how to navigate it).

I dont know. Just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. That's mostly what I have done today.

@Former-Member i'm glad you found the article refreshing! and i agree with you, it is more common than we think. when i searched up 'support for single men' on google, the thread you created is on the first page - it shows that thanks to that thread, there's now another support space available for people to connect with.

when you speak to your GP, you can tell them you don't want a psych! you can say you're looking for a therapist/counsellor that's specialised in relationships/intimacy and see if they can connect you with one.

lie in bed and stare at the ceiling is okay to do for a bit of the day - i find that the more time you have to think, the more negative thoughts come (unless you're challenging those negative thoughts - then yay) - how about watching a horror movie? buying a 1000 piece puzzle and timing yourself to see how fast you solve it? watch the sunset at a beach? (just some ideas)