Hi @Maryjune .....
i have the same ."husband drowning opinion front of me" going on ..... with an atypical eating disorder that has gone to an extreme .... masked as a "healthy life change". I have been shocked and horrified to realise how very experienced, compassionate, astute, gp's physio's and dentists have missed it while it was hiding in plain sight .... it's only as he is starting to finally run down and perhaps run aground that it is coming to light, and even then in his state of denial, nobody seems to know what to do with him to unmask him.
Even though all the information is clearly out there on the Internet in bold black and white detail, medical professionals outside eating disorder specialisation are only looking for very specific criteria in relation to Anorexia or Bulimia, and now B\nge Eating Disorder has been picked up as an e.d..... so late in the piece but it's finally on the board ..... but my hubby had gone from being morbidly obese with BED to an atypical combination of about four different things, carefully dodging the spotlight by keeping his weight at the low end of normal though muscle accumulation. Meanwhile the whole BED mindset is still in full force with what I think may be B/nge / P¥rge Anorexia Nervosa or atypical Bulimia Nervosa .... with Orthoexia definitely present, Athletica Nervosa in full swing, and Chew/Soit at litres per day .....
Its the emotional instability, and need to defend his intense daily, all-consuming regimen of eating and exercise, specific to ritualised times and measures, that has taken him from us. All we can do is try to walk along with him, helplessly watching him come undone by degrees, and wondering just what it is going to take to achieve intervention, and even whether we could lose him before that happens.
Its such a mess .... and I actually had intervention taken against me in the early years of this when I tried like mad to flag down the gp ..... my hubby was losing weight under his medical supervision, but taking the method to extremes, including the development of the Chew/Soit behaviour, without the dr's awareness. We have been living with this for seven years now, and where early intervention could have prevented it progressing to where it is now, which is what is so devastating to us as his family, I am also wondering just how much intervention it is now going to take to try to rescue him from where he has "progressed" to .....
This is a case where the focus has NOT been on mental health .... and it is only watching him in the grip of this illness that I have come to understand how and why it is classed as a mental illness. I had obviously thought that an e.d. was "simply" founded in body dysmorphia ..... the emotional abuse, change in personality along with physical appearance, and devestation of personal relationships has been just that .... devastating. And still we are on our own irl (in real life) .... however on the forums here I have never been alone since I joined.
The sense of being heard, understood, listened to compassionately and having my hand held every step of the way here has been immeasurable. In our hidden pain and grief, the forums have been a God-send, keeping me afloat, and in turn that has kept my family afloat.
Hearing you and walking with you @Maryjune .....
🌷💜
