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Fear

peaceSenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 2:57 pm AEDT

Fear

I hate it when I get scared and so fearfull of life. ANXIETY is driving me into hell. Panic attacks that last for days with no relief. I am frightened. Fear is soul destroying. I have to be ok I have to work or everything will be lost and I will live in the street again. My daughter and her baby son need me. My beloved ex is needing a liver transplant, on top of the list, he needs me to go and help him recover. Damn it I can't even take care of my dog. Oh so scared and trapped. So overwhelmed by this life. I am pathetically useless. So hate being me. So hate life. So over it. Over over over.....Please.
God grant me peace.

56 replies

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In response to: Fear

peaceSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 1:17 am AEDT

Re: Fear

@kato good advise thanks. She does know yet i don't know how she feels except that she needs reliablty from her works as it is not the sort of job you just can't not turn up for, especially when it takes me down usely for 5 days.
@NikNik you seem to know what i am going thru and about the loop. Any ideas on how to stop that? Mind you i have tried many things over the years that this is happening. Maybe my new meds might help more the longer i am on then. I am hoping /praying that i can go do just the 4 hours am roostered on for tomorrow. These episodes are so yukky and scary and well torture seriously. And no clear diagnosis. And people out here do not understand .
I'm a little bit better tonight.
Thank you very much Sane and forum posters. I seriously appreciate you.

In response to: Fear

PeppiPattySenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 10:01 am AEDT

Re: Fear

Loopy,
I decided to work every fortnight one job per fortnight / week and my friend dropped me off there: I was having panic attacks.....
Good reading these blogs, gives me some good tactics

In response to: Re: Fear

NikNikSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 5:57 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Hi @peace

The way I think about it is picking one small thing to do. That's all it takes to interrupt the cycle.
Eating is hard when you have an upset stomach... so trying something like plain like toast or a potato, which won't further upset your stomach but will start to fill it up. Don't worry about the next thing, just focus on just one at a time.

Be sure to keep track of your moods/experiences with your new meds. I often recommend people to keep a bit of a journal of good & bad days so they can show their Dr next time.
This doesn't have to extensive, even just a rating on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10.
This will help track if your medication is helping, whether the help it's providing is plateauing, or just not helpful at all.

You seem to be improving. You have mentioned being a little bit better - what have you done in order to make you feel a bit better?

In response to: Fear

peaceSenior Contributor25 Feb 2015, 11:55 am AEDT

Re: Fear

My body is raked with fear
My mind cannot stop
No matter which way I turn
I feel like I am about to pop

Only three days has passed
Since I felt as solid as a rock
All too soon I'm broken
Please God make it stop

I wish I could run away
Be somewhere nice and safe
But I can't hide from myself
So I just hope this passes quick

In response to: Re: Fear

katoSenior Contributor27 Feb 2015, 5:51 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Hey @peace

This poem that you wrote is amazing, i am glad you were able to express how you are feeling, i have been meaning to write you for a few days, had to just stop my head spinning first,

The truest words, how quickly the days pass, when we think we are doing great, how quickly it changes, but you know what, we learn from these changes, the circumstances and how best to deal with it each time, slowly getting better and stronger each time.

I find myself doing the two steps forward five steps backwards, it sounds like you have done the same, perghaps not as many steps lol, My psychlogist in my last session went through a grounding meditation type thing,

Plant feet flat on the ground, hands on your knees, close your eyes, and concentrate on feeling the ground under your feet, feeling your hands on your knees, focusing on your breathing, on the breath reaching all parts of the body, it's all about feeling your breath through your body, you do it for 3mins, usually you should do it every day, but you can use it to help relax the anxiety, i use it for that, hope it helps, it is tricky tho, so don't feel down if you struggle with it, i have been trying it for a couple of days and i find it difficult.

it might help you to slow the anxiety?

In response to: Fear

PeppiPattySenior Contributor07 Mar 2015, 11:36 am AEDT

Re: Fear

Hi @peace

I wrote to you somewhere but hello here too. I think it was um..........@hiddenite (Karen) but she wrote ya couldn't stop anxiety but you can learn to manage it............

So you know how you manage it ?

In response to: Fear

peaceSenior Contributor17 Mar 2015, 11:27 am AEDT

Re: Fear

I am not feeling so good. I can feel I'm sitting on the edge and one wrong move or thought and I will fall. Everything looks wrong. Damn it is hard

In response to: Re: Fear

NikNikSenior Contributor17 Mar 2015, 5:17 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

hi @peace

I'm really concerned about your post. I'm so sorry to read that you're going through this hard time.

I have emailed you separately, but incase you haven't seen my email, I want to flag that it's really important to speak to someone straight away, if you are having thoughts of suicide. Two organisations which are really helpful are:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or their online chat
Suicide call back service on 1300 659 467 or their online counselling

You have shown great courage in reaching out for help & I hope you continue to do so. You are more than welcome to continue in the forums, but if you need help immediately, please contact the above organisations to get the support you deserve.

Thinking of you,

Nik

In response to: Re: Fear

kristinSenior Contributor18 Mar 2015, 1:15 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Dear @peace

I'm holding that candle out for you in the midst of this. Please reach out for the help you need. Well done for posting how you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm going to wear my Sandy ( @Alessandra1992 ) hat now and ask - not nearly so well as her, but always a good question - what has helped you get through these times in the past?

Hope for light in the darkness endures....

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Fear

peaceSenior Contributor22 Mar 2015, 1:16 am AEDT

Re: Fear

Hi guy's. I'm not well. Psychiatrist added extra meds. They make me feel strange & sick. Sorry to worry you. But thank you for caring. I so need it and appreciate your support. The days are insufferable, the nights a little easier. Anyways here's Hoping hey for a return to wellness. Scared of the mornings.

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