Soul sister

Hello @Zoe7, , @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Former-Member @Former-Member xx

have a good afternoon my friends

never had a sister

had a brother ,but he died

no I have 3 SIL`s

lots of cousins , one very special cousin who is like a sister to me , she is a year younger than me and has terminal illness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCOAuJsVIh4

Hi Sis @Zoe7

I am glad it worked re nostril

And I am also happy to hear you are feeling a bit better- hopefully when the days get a bit warmer you will start to feel a bit better.

I am still not sleeping the best at least I did sleep. I think I tried to get some sleep after I send my last message last night.

Do you want to put up your weekly goals on this thread or start a new thread?

Your pendeant looks beautiful sis

I hope your appointment went well and if you want you can full me in when you get home.

I've not long come back taking Kira and my mum will be here very shortly we are just heading out to the local tavern for dinner.

I will talk to soon sis

Love you xox

Hi @Shaz51

Good to hear from you

Thanks for your well wishes- it is much appreciated

Hope you had a lovely Christmas and all the best for 2017

I am so sorry to hear about your cousin- hugs to you @Shaz51

Hello @Former-Member, @Zoe7

how did your afternoon go xx

thank you @Former-Member

So sorry about your brother and also your cousin

Just listened to the link to Vance Joy @Former-Member posted - still crying!!!

My afternoon was ok - appointment was not too bad - decided not to go into too much - didn't want to feel drained and sick like I usually do!

How are you going? @Shaz51 xx

Hi cuz @Appleblossom xx

Hi @Zoe7

Just droping in to to say hello

And to see how you went this afternoon

Thank you for your kind words - it means a lot to me

I really appreciate the post you send earlier and we are very similar and I am surprised that you know me so well. I hope you don't feel so alone now and that you don't have to be always strong with me- I think you know what I mean by this.

Hope you are having a nice night.

Hi lil sis @Former-Member

Finding it a bit hard to type tonight. Been crying on and off for about the last 4 hours ever since I listened to fire and the flood.

I certainly don't feel alone anymore

I chose not to do any of the tough stuff today at my appointment - but I talked more than I have in any other session. Mainly about my family and what effect they all have on my life.

Also talked a lot about you - not anything about you specifically (would never do that) but about this wonderful person I met online that is my biggest support and inspires me to move forward and who I can just be ME with - no strings, no judgements, no expectations! Psychologist thinks it's pretty amazing too and said she can already see a change in me I've never really talked about the future and even thought about making plans - now I'm even talking about going back to work - not stratight away and most likely will only be part-time. We discussed starting with a few mornings a week and increasing from there - not sure how this would work with the education dept but no point worrying about that just yet - cross that bridge when I come to it.

Yes there have been times when I have just wanted to fall apart over the last few weeks - and a few nights that I'd wished you were around while I was feeling so low but I have spent my whole life dealing with sh*t on my own and not asked for help and showed how I am really feeling to anyone. I find it really difficult to trust that anyone will actually even care. I trust you but still don't necessarily want to lay all my sh*t on you. I have told you more than anyone ever in my life and there are still some things I find really hard to talk about - I know YOU know how that is. But be assured that when I am ready you will be the one I talk to.

You mean the world to me and I can't stop smiling (even when I'm feeling pain) when I think about you - my little sister, my beloved friend

Hi big sis @Zoe7

I am sorry to hear you been upset the last few hours

But I am glad you don't feel alone anymore, I understand your struggles about feeling alone.

Did you post earlier on, I read a post when I came home and now its gone- I think you posted on this thread. You wrote about how similar we are etc

Just know I am here for you and I truly do care. I am glad you were able to talk more in your session today and you can say anything about me to your psychologist I don't mind.

I wish I could support you and help you. I hope you can share your feelings with me and what your problems are so that I can help you.

In terms of work, can you get super organized now and that way you might be ready to go back to work. Perhaps prepare meals on weekends and have them ready for when you get home from work- is it possible for your mum to help with a little housework etc. And just look at each term at a time or the first term - think about getting through each week. I just don't want to see you lose your job- I think you will manage but don't take on any extra work. But I will leave that decision to you, you know your body better then me. Or if full time is not possible perhaps 3 or 4 days a week.

Btw I have similar thoughts/feelings about people actually caring about me and I am glad you know or realize that I truly care about you and I only want what is best for you. I feel honoured that you have opened up to me and I actually have no words for that because its means so much to me.

You mean the world to me too, and I am so glad we have connected and hopefully we can make this year the best one yet.

PS I'm here for you & I care

Hi lil sis @Former-Member

You are the one that started me crying. It started out as happy tears then I couldn't stop - been so long - haven't been able to cry - just too painful! The feelings have all been around pain and hurt etc, but tonight I actually felt loved and cared about - was completely overwhelmed by that!

I think the post about how similar we are was earlier last night (or this morning) so it may be some pages back. You know me - when I get started I write a book not a chapter!!!!!!

In regards to my psych sessions - thankyou for saying I can say anything but what you say to me I won't disclose to anyone (I know other members can read it but they are 'family') - it's too important to me to keep what you say here. I want to tell everyone all about you and how happy you make each day but I really don't think anyone would understand our connection anyway!

Over the last few days I have actually wanted to just walk away. This has nothing to do with you at all Everytime I have formed any kind of relationship (or began to get close to someone) I've been hurt. The last 10 years or so I have just not bothered - came to the conclusion that it was easier to be alone than to continue to be let down. Do you know what I mean? But this is too important and makes me too happy to let go of! It was never that I thought you would let me down - it was more about me and whether I deserved to have this happiness in my life! Very conflicting emotions - what I believe and feel now compared to the rest of my life before. I really want to be able to look forward and not back but so much of who I am is because of my past and it is really hard to reconcile the person that I know I am and the way I have been treated (as worthless).

We have two days of professional development a week before we actually start back for term 1. I'm going to go for those days (or part of) and see how I go. Then I'll know more about how I'm feeling - mentally and physically - and what I think I can cope with.

Btw -the pendant I bought reminded me of you - firstly because it looked like an O (LOL) and only I would know what that means (in the real world!) but mainly because to me it represented that no matter where we have started or where we will finish we will always be travelling on the same path together A bit profound - maybe! Important to me - definitely!!!!

Hope you are having a great time with your Mum.

Love you too lil sis