Soul sister

I've just came back from my walk- we had to cut it short because there was no cloud cover and I was starting to burn- we walked about 5kms

I have nothing much to do now until around 12noon, but I probably might leave a bit earlier then that because I'll go to the library and print some things off, I have printer at home but I have ran out ink and plus I have printing money on my library card and just easier for me to print off my hospital forms there.

I think you are doing great to be able to do things you are doing. Some time in the sun would be good for you- unfortunately you don't get much of that down in Tassie. I know not everyone likes too sunshine but I did find even living in Nth Qld I was happy up there because there was constant sunshine and a better climate in winter.

Look forwad to hearing about your holiday story. Kira has just came back inside, and she has been good thus far today. To be honest I am not sure if the sleep study is going to help me or come up with a solution. I am going to have to learn to manage my anxiety a bit more. But you never know, I am worried I am not going to sleep and my sleep cycle is pretty bad atm.

I might even make it to bunnings today to get a similar plant that you got the other day, and that way I will have something to remind me of you. I am not sure if you are online atm. I am hoping you are feeling better today. Take it easy

I'm here big sis @Zoe7

I'm a bit tired though

I have resceduled my sleep study, its going to work out better this way

I got my hair done and did a grocery shop.

And while I am the shopping centre I got my mumsy a dress, I hope she likes it.

Hi lil sis. Sorry to hear your walk had to be cut short - but don't want you burnt. It's raining down here today. Was going to go out but probably better I stay indoors and out of the rain as still not feeling good. It's not cold - just wet but don't want to risk it. Did have some sleep though. Still got a sore throat and slight fever but sneezing and coughing seems to have stopped. Hopefully have stopped it developing any further - am prone to bronchitis and have had pneumonia several times so need to be carefeul.

Your printer is out of ink and I am out of copy paper - is on my list - yes sis I made a list!! I do make lists all the time - have just forgot lately how important they are for me to keep on top of things. That's one thing I find difficult to do when I can't think properly - my focus goes out the window completely when I am not well (either physically or mentally - or both).

In regards to sunshine - I think I need to move!!! I feel so much better when I can be in the sun. Winter here is horrible - don't cope well with the lack of daylight during the day. Often leave home in darkness and return in the same. Then have spent all day inside and don't see any sun for days or even weeks.

I'm sure Kira is always a good girl - she has such a wonderful mummy, is spoilt rotten and is so cute - how could she be anything but good!!!!!!

Toby was such a good boy at the beach yesterday - think he knew I wasn't good and didn't go far from me. Everyone who came along wanted to pat him and he just sat and let them. He can be such a good dog. We are starting to get to know the other regular walkers and dogs and it is really nice to have those connections at the beach. When we were walking back he decided he didn't want to go home yet and ran back up the beach - nearly to the other end. He couldn't hear me calling him (was getting very windy) and I had to walk after him. He finally realised I wasn't close and started looking for me. Finally I was close enough for him to see and he sprinted back down to me. Little sweetheart was having so much fun.

I do understand the worry associated with not sleeping. You can only do what you can do and if it doesn't work on Friday then we go from there - take the pressure off yourself a bit sis and we can work through ways to deal with your anxiety together - I still find this difficult too so hopefully together we can help each other.

Hope you got to Bunnings. When I read that it actually brought tears to my eyes - sooo sweet. Everytime I look at mine I think of you - which has been alot the last couple of days!. Mum asked me about the orchid on Christmas day and I wanted to tell her I got it as a present and to remind me of this amazing person I have in my life but had to just say I liked it so I brought it. That's the hardest thing about being so connected to someone you don't even really know and isn't physically in your life - you can't tell everyone who this wonderful person is. I want to tell the world how amazing and supportive you are but that isn't possible. I think I've been struggling with this the last few days also because I haven't been feeling well.

Do love you lil sis and wouldn't change a thing though - having you in my life this way is better than not having you at all.

When have you rescheduled for?

Hi again big sis

Good to see you here- its made me happy that is for sure. Your such a beautiful & caring person. I am so gald we have found each other.

We didn't start walking until around 8.30am and it was probably close to the 30 degrees by then. When I came home I checked the weather for Hobart and it said it was raining and I think 18 degrees, that is cold for me.

I am glad you got in a good night sleep, I am starting to get a bit tired now. I probably only got about 4 hours sleep. I am glad some of your symptoms have decreased and you are slowly getting better.

I am not sure if I could handle or enjoy the winters in Tasmania because I really do like a warm/sunny climate. I love the winters in North Queensland and I love the Cowboys.

I am glad Toby is such great company for you and gives you peace of mind, I know what Kira does for me and does help with the anxiety and I think we give each other a lot too. Thanks for your kind words about Kira.

We are a good pair me and you, me out of ink and you out of paper. I did print off my vouchers for Dreamworld and I am going tomorrow to get my yearly pass sorted and get my ID for the year.

I have reschedule my sleep study for two wks from this Friday, it will give me a chance to hopefully to get in a better sleep cycle, if I do it this Friday it could be a waste of time. i don't get to sleep sometimes until around 2 or 4am and if it was 4am they would only have limited data because the test stops at 6am.

We will working our way to a brighter future this year and reducing our anxiety and supporting each other to be the best version of you & me. I am so glad you are in my life and I think you are amazing. Keep your chin up. I believe in you xox Keep moving forward big sis you have such potential.

@Zoe7 I didn't get to Bunnings I am too tired from lack of sleep and I could quite easily sleep but I think I might be over tired. Its almost the end of 2016 and time to reflect and hopefully next year is better.

Hi sisters.

my wildlife snactuary friend

and my WWII historian

So glad you 2 clicked

Can I just be an old distant cousin .. blowing by

every now and then???

Now you have actually made me cry - first time in so long Real tears (of happiness and I think a bit of relief)!

Cowboys - I sense a theme (Dallas and North Queensland).

I will admit their first grand final was owesome - what a game - so happy they won. I'm a Paramatta supporter - have been all my life! Last year was very disappointing - we could have gone so far if it wasn't for the idiots in charge - just stay within the salary cap, no outside help and play fair!

Checking Hobart weather - stalking much!!! I checked out where Currumbin Sanctaury actually was the other day also!!!!!!!!

hey between us we would have a whole printer that works - I only use it these days to print off my refund receipts to keep track of how much I have left to claim! Still heaps - and starts again from zero in the new year.

I'll tell you quickly about my Gold Coast holiday. I went for my birthday one year. Mum and Nan payed for most of it because I was still at uni. It was the year I moved out on my own which was also the year that my ex did what he did! Went with my sister and two girls that worked in the library at the uni - knew both of them well. I found out a few days before I left that HE had moved to Queensland so was really stressed about that. But the chances of running into him were so slim I put it into the back of my mind. We actually had a really great time - did some touristy things - went to a lot of bars - did some shopping - and visited all the theme parks. Really had a great time. We went to Dreamworld on my birthday because that was how I wanted to spend the day - a great day. My sister vomitted after going on one of the rides - told her to wait a while after she'd eaten but she thought she'd be ok - WRONG!!

We went to the casino that night for dinner and drinks. This is when it got REAL. We were in a bar and I saw HIM on the other side of the room. My sister did also and I just looked at her and she looked back at me - no words - we left straight away. Such a wonderful day until then and I felt like my world was falling apart again. Still don't believe he was there and have never seen him since but always in the back of my mind that he could be anywhere. have found out recently he is in South Australia so that gives me some piece of mind to know he is nowhere near me.

My sister just turned up wiill finish writing to you when she leaves

big sis

Sister just left - bought some clothes around that don't fit her anymore and she thought they might fit me because I have lost so much weight. they probably will!

I know how hard it has been for you to sleep - I'm often up late with you -keep you company any time. I know I haven't been very good company the last few nights but hopefully that's over for a while. Do have my psych appointment tomorrow though so tomorrow night I might not be very good. I know the sessions are really difficult and the aftermath is horrible but I need to believe that they are going to help me move forward sometime.

I'm really looking forward to 2017 and what we can achieve. I don't make new year's resolutions (ever) but this year I am going to. I think we should think of one thing each week that we both like to do and make sure each other does it. Deal?

What are you doing for New Year's Eve? Anything?

I'm thinking maybe in winter I'll have to take some time off (if I'm back at work) and go on a holiday to get some sun - maybe somewhere I can take Toby with me. I can get the boat to Melbourne then drive up the east coast. Wouldn't matter then where I stayed if Toby was with me.

You and me sis - together our life is going to move forward in a positive way

@Former-Member love you heaps - you make every day somuch brighter

@Appleblossom bugger the distant cousin - how about just cousin!

Now what have I done to make you cry @Zoe7 sis

There is a definite theme- I love the cowboys. My mum is a parra supporter too. I remember being up in Townsville and I had my Dallas Cowboys shirt on an they loved it up there lol.

I am tad tired tonight but most likely will get my second wind soon.I just can't write has much as you- yep I have been stalking- I hope the weather is on the improve for you. What did you think of Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary?

I like the way you think- we got it sorted the printer issue- are you talking medicare safety net, and mine goes back to zero too but I know I will most likely reach the safety net soon enough.

You holiday sounded like a lot of fun and that you had an amazing time away. I love Dreamorld- I loved it in the early 90's not many people here on the Gold Coast. Did he see you, I hope not- Just put out of your mind has much as possible. Your amazing don't forgot get.

Love from sis