Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @Shaz51, busy all day with visiting family. Glad to see you have clarfied your thoughts around things. I was wondering if you felt it was a little premature to be making any plans.

@Former-Member our thoughts all come from our own situations and past experiences and I know I often sense deep hurts in the posts that are made. These nonetheless give a perspective that we might have not thought if and that is well worthy of consideration. Your post reminded me how important it is to consider our partners feelings and not to assume anything (and even though often said in jest, to be very careful in the use and application of the old saying "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine" )

I was wondering if you felt it was a little premature to be making any plans.-- yes I think sooo @Former-Member

@Former-Member, your respond was ok my friend , no need to say sorry and no need to delete

all good , I spoke to mr shaz afterward after talking to the moderator and said over time we can put all these plans into action , not all at once

I think our thoughts change along the way too @Shaz51 , what may seem a good idea now may well be different down the track 🚂🏇.

very true @Former-Member

and also mr shaz never talked about the future , just going day to day is enough

so it was a big surprise for me

@Former-Member

Aw no @Shaz51

No wonder you are tired and want to slow down - I seem to be working backward - Mr Shaz wants to tear up flower bed - as @Appleblossom says - (sigh - I agree) too much grass - gardens are so beautiful even if they are more work

But knocking down or selling your families houses - NO NO - they are your houses - you have the first say there - I know he gets anxious and has weird ideas at times - this time - it's really up to you

It's so sad and hard on you Shaz

Dec

thank my second mum @Owlunar

had a talk with mr shaz about it , all good now

but like @Former-Member says plans get change along the way , so who know what will happen years ahead xxxx

Yes @Shaz51 - plans do get changed along the way and I am glad all is good now

I really did not like my parents' house - I have bad memories about time their too - I hear you

I hope all this works out well - I am glad you had a good talk with Mr Shaz

Dec

@Shaz51

Lots of good feed back from everyone.

I dont know how @anonymous misread the discussion??? When people have developed friendships they can be more direct in speech while still caring ...???

But if you dont like his end plan ... dont string him along. Be honest.

Hearing you about mine and thine stuff ... my ex husband took my beautiful expensive recorder cleaner which had a nice box and used the box for his dope. By the time he did that I was in so much physical and emotional pain, no amount of listening to music would help me. I was too busy with children to mention it and they had loud domination of all the physical and movie and radio airwave space. I left as the internet was rising in use. It bugs me now as I think back. Seems like sacrilege.

I never got to listen to my music and still dont have a proper set up. My son took 3 speakers ... for his new place etc ... I will get around to it. but as a music teacher it was not fair I did not have the respect or freedom to listen to music as I pleased.

That was the reality of my husbands illness ... i guess ...

an upside for him and a down side for me.

@Former-Member @Former-Member @Owlunar

When people have developed friendships like us @Appleblossom four years soo far they can be more direct in speech while still caring ...???

Very true my awesome friend

and when a new moderator comes to the forum they do not relize that we have a friendship where we can be direct xxxx

I was very glad with all the messages here for me , and I was able to voice my concerns to mr shaz which was good

you see with mr shaz , he lost everything , children , money, house with his first marriage

and to see where we are after 12 years of marriage and hard work to see what we have

@Owlunar, @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Determined

Hi @Appleblossom

I don't seen any tension in the conversation I seem to have joined late in the day

As you are a music and muscian - I - also a musican - feel it is sacrilege that your to your recorder and the conditions at home made the noise so loud your couldn't listen to music - it was always an important part of my dealing with the later years of my marriage I insisted on my music - maybe that was hard to live with but a silent husband does voice his say so it was what it was

It really doesn't sound fair - also - and upside for him and a downside for you - it sounds really hard to me - and your son having your equipment too

I'm sorry - I don't know what else to say - music has always be sacred in my book

Dec