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Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @PeppiPatty, over here my special friend xx

Hello Everyone

Love to hear from others on the forum if you experience this

My hubby has been diagnosed with lots of things and has had MI all his life

do you find things goes ok and i start to feel confident and wanting to go forward and then everytime something always happens to upset it -- sometimes I think is it a controlling thing ?? that he wants to be in control ??

Don`t know if I am making this up , but i have that feeling ,

8295 replies

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In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @Former-Member xx

how are you and Mr @Former-Member going

had a busy weekend

Mr Shaz is going off one of his meds this time , cutting it in half , no support , we have the gp watching his cholestrol

Does not want to change his eating habits which makes it very hard to keep mine

The Dietician rang up yesterday to see how I was going

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Shaz51

I think the only way I can manage to eat somewhat healthily is by viewing the food and drink I consume as medicine for my body. I am so pleased the dietician checked in on you, giving you support.

We can only encourage our partners to follow the advise of the docs to discontinue any med slowly (I know in addition I would document med doses and moods, too hard to remember otherwise).

Take care chook,
Darcy

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Good morning @Former-Member @Shaz51 .....I am stopping in to say good morning, then heading out for a walk. Hope you both have a decent day ....

🌷

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Thanks @Determined! I have bounced back! Actually feeling pretty good this morning after a good nights sleep.
I really Hope your lovely wife starts to feel a bit better soon. I know it can be daunting when you're not sure if things are about to get better or worse.
That's really good she's enjoying her cycling! I think having a hobby can make all the difference. That's understandable if she's feeling a little anxious having the kids on holidays and you still at uni. I know you'll give her the support where you can and I trust you both get through this.
I'll be thinking of you!

Yes @Former-Member, that makes perfect sense. The other night when I was having my moment, he kept telling me to stop trying to protect everyone. I find this hard because I'm a non confrentaional sort of person. I think it's natural to want to protect the people we love.

Haha I hope your gentle encouragement is paying off 🙂
I'm a bit the same with my partner when he wants to help do something. Even if I'm not thrilled with the way he's doing it I don't have the heart to criticize. I am lucky that he can actually cook really well though, as I'm terrible at it! Haha

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Rose96

Good to hear you have bounced back,

I am still learning the art of gentle encouragement I am afraid. I come from a family of analytical thinkers. When we research things we like to get the full picture and like to think that we consider all angles of a problem before deciding on an appropriate action. We look for the most efficient ways of doing things and in many ways take pride in this, At times I have found it difficult when I see people struggling to do things I see as the "hard way" but have learned that unless invited to, or if it is part of my job description to train, I need to keep my mouth shut. I am also learning to try and focus on what could go right rather than what could go wrong.

I will continue to encourage Mr Darcy in the kitchen; now that I have read up on all the diagnoses tendered for him, quite often the way Mr Darcy has tackled meal preparation would likely be described as "disorganised thinking" by his psychiatrist, especially if making something from scratch, Most of the meals he makes don't require much effort (ie browning off meat before adding bottled spag bol sauce, curry sauces) but even these are hit and miss. Desptie this I count my blessings, we have made it through without contracting salmonella thus far LOL.

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Good morning @Shaz51 @Determined @Faith-and-Hope @PeppiPatty @Rose96 @Over-the-Edge @Maryjune @Amy2 @Littleshining1 @Anony18

Hope Mr Shaz, Darling, WH, Mr G, Thor and other significant others have a good day and we are able to remain steady no matter their ups and downs.

Trust things are going OK with Mr Shaz and meds @Shaz51 (praying esp for you, that things will go smoothly).

@Over-the-Edge, Hope hubby is recovering OK from his surgery and that you are managing OK too.

@Rose96, Can I call your man Mr Lincoln (a type of rose)

@Faith-and-Hope is WH back home?

Time for work ...
Darcy

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

hi @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Rose96 @Faith-and-Hope @Determined and everyone.

good morning to you all, had an episode yesterday and today with my Thor, he got really upset yesterday .. some of his memories from past is coming back ..like he had forgotten those memories and remembered them yesterday..yesterday was his unborn daughter's death anniversary..he's been trying to push me out yesterday like asking for a ME day , so I took the time to go to the city and have my student visa interview.. after the interview he message me not enjoy the day and have some massage.. but I chosed to but fresh seafood to cook for dinner instead.. but when I came back home he drunk around 7 to 10 beers already and been drinking nonstop he bought the 30 cans In a box...which made me feel worried and upset ..but I can't let him see that.. i asked if he wants to talk about something like is he depressed or something .. he said he is ok just crave for beer.. then awhile ago early morning he took our dog and drove to the park.. I got so worried that I walked in my pajamas in colds coz he is not allowed to drive with all those alcohol he drunk since yesterday..when we went home he broke down and cry told me about his unborn daughter. . to be honest I'm lost right now .. I don't know what to do.. I'm scared and worried.. I'm scared if continues to drink I can't stop him or worst he will kick me out of the house again ( happened 3 x ) , right now I don't know if il pack my luggage or just go out for a while and let him sober up.. he is not aggressive right now he is more like depressed and doesn't want to move he just wanted to cry and question God of his fate.. as of the moment I'm in the toilet hiding while sending this message coz I'm lost..I don't know if I should stay or just go out for a moment to let him sober up.. I'm afraid if I go he will buy more beer or worst buy pot..or stay and might annoy him coz he just want time for himself to grieve...I need advice I'm lost.

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Maryjune
If you or Thor at risk you need to get help. Can you call CATT team?

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

thank you so much for the reply , but what's Catt team ? I would much like to know how to contact them. as I'm not capable in handling his depression. he is at the moment calm and promise me not to drink or do stupid things today and asked me to go out.. that I should get a massage coz I looked stressed up.. which I really am coz I don't know what will happen next..but having him said that makes me want to stay home more..but he look worried for me and I'm giving him more stress ..I'm more worried for him than to me coz his mom live just a few blocks from here I know I can stay there but he has a history of self inflicting.. he doesn't want me to call up his mom coz he said she will immediately judge him .. so it's more like , for him let this mood pass.. which leads me to question till when ?? how will I know it passed ??

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi @Maryjune
Is it possible for you to give him some space, but still stay home? If you have a separate lounge room or something you could go and watch a movie while checking up on him everynow and then?
I agree with @Former-Member, if you or Thor are at risk, to try and get some help. I'm not too sure who CATT team is, I'd be interested to find out how to get in contact with them as well.
It sounds like he has a lot going on in his head and being able to talk it out with someone would be a positive step I think.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

And yes of course @Former-Member, you can call him Mr Lincoln.
Hope you and Mr Darcy are doing well today.
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