Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Former-Member, @Smc, @Determined, @Owlunar, @Sophie1, @Bunniekins,

Mr shaz likes my mum, BUT does not want anything to do with my extended family

I don`t know id this is part of Bipolar 11 or not

@Shaz51 It is hard isn't it to have a private partner. I was always the private one who refused to be dragged off to family get togethers. I just hated them with a vengence. I don't know if it is my mi or my personality I just like to keep people at a distance and if they get to close I generally do a runner. Is that bp1 or schizo I really don't know.... one thing is for sure that I cannot change no matter how much I try.

I just like to keep people at a distance and if they get to close I generally do a runner.-- yes @Bunniekins ,-----mr shaz even does this with my mum if we go there too much

I was always the private one who refused to be dragged off to family get togethers. I just hated them with a vengence. ------ mrr shaz is the same @Bunniekins

Relationships + BPii = often difficult @Shaz51 for various reasons. Past trauma, brain structure, mood swings, irritability, hypersensitivity are just some things that have been implicated in relation to this. I believe however those with BP (and Sz) on the whole long for relationships.

https://www.bphope.com/bipolar-relationships-ties-bind/

thank you @Former-Member

@Shaz51 I’m not sure about BPII elements of your qn re relationships with your extended family or your partners extended family in particular.. but I have noticed that MsS struggles HUGELY to maintain even one friend ... let alone relationships with family - mine or her own ... relationships are very hard for some reason - Ms S often swings between not communicating at all to her friend and then over communicating and over visiting (out staying welcome) .. struggles to find the middle ground and how to deal with the emotions of wanting to see her friend when the friend is busy and can’t see her .... luckily her friend is also anxious and thrives on routine so they now have an agreement to set times they see each other weekly and even yearly events they reserve for each other such as New Year’s Eve ... thus removes some struggle - routine was a gift for their friendship as if they had to negotiate each meeting it would be way too hard for them both ...

sorry shaz i didn’t give a direct answer but thought this might be of some consolation - friendships and BPII = very very difficult

I'm probably saying something everyone already knows, but one of the big drivers with BPD is fear of abandonment. The feeling that "nobody really wants me around" can be behind both avoiding people and trying too hard to please them.

@Smc we are using Sane abbreviations guidelines that being:

BP = bipolar, BPii being a more depressive form of bipolar with highs more in keeping with hypomania rather than full blown mania (BPii = Mr Shaz, his 'twin' Mr Darcy and Ms Sophie)

BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder (Determined's Darling).