Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Former-Member ... I will tag you from the Hot Chocolate thread .... I have posted my latest work in progress there.

@Former-Member - such a beautiful song. I have always had my Christian faith but I never prayed or gone to church as often. It was when I first really experienced being a carer for my partner who experienced his early life crisis (as he called it) that I started praying more. Of course i pray that we get through things and that we will work out but it's more so for him and all the people who suffer from MI and carers like yourselves xx

@Shaz51 - how did I miss this?! What a great surprise your best friend came over. Gives you great comfort I bet knowing there are still amazing friends that can surprise you.

Just back from movies with my best friend. We are quite different personalities but we understand each other so well. We were talking about another friend of ours. Lovely person but her and the husband are quite judgmental. As you know my partner has MI but obviously my friend doesn't know. But I know her husband and her always tries set me up with guys....even knowing I am with my partner. Found out apparently to them I don't have a bf because I don't see him everyday or every other day. And I haven't seen him for almost 2 mths cause he is away but he still does reply to my msges every few days so we do talk.

Sorry about the whinge. Just frustrated about it. It's rather disrespectful that to them just cause my relationship isn't like theirs or cause my partner and I are fairly independent, in their eyes we aren't a couple. I know if my partner found out how they thought it would not do good for his MI because he does think at times that he isn't good enough for me because he can't be as attentive. At those times I reassure him.

It was a great surprise @Former-Member, @Anony18 xx

I thought WOW and Here I am thinking our friendship was over

what movie did you watch @Anony18

@Anony18, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Maryjune, @Determined, @PeppiPatty

with my Mr Shaz negativity which hes thinks people are saying things against him that leaves us with no friends

Have to be careful that us carers , wives and Husbands don`t fall into doing the same

soo I can really say that she is a real friend , and I might of been chasing her away

hello @Anony18

so many people want to put us in boxes and label us

we dont have to be the same, they are sheep

we are who we are and if you are both happy in your relationship then that is exactly what you have a happy relationship

just ignore the sheep, smile and ignore works wonders

hello @Anony18

yes of course i can be very rational, think i have all the answers and then remind myself that I am still a human being with feelings,

hard to put the rational thoughts with the powerful feelings at times.

xxx

@Former-MemberI was struck by your comment

"Sadly we cannot love someone back to good health"

I finally think I agree with that.

For a large part of my life I tried to love people back to good mental health ... with varying success and some abject failure. I put a lot of effort into my siblings, but was not really aware of the comparative degree of damage our early childhood state wardships had on us.

Part was me as a child taking responsibility for aspects of myparents MI, then my 16 year marriage, and now with myself and son..

There are diffeerent issues in the different "LOVE" relationships.

With my ex-husband, I know that I put many loving things in place, but they fubnctioned more as interventions, and our relationship never felt like a loving relationship and became worse as time went on.

.So learning about boundaries in healthy relatonships, and looking around at others and seeing what they do and dont accept, helps me a lot.

Glad you have a real friend. @Shaz51

I have a platonic friend but he also is addicted to being normal .. also has a lot of defences in place and constantly pushes me away .. with big grand statements about "normal" which would probably get him diagnosed if we went into a psychiatic session. he has apologised about it, but keeps doing it .. so I guess he cant change and so it just means it is not a close or fulfilling realationship, but it is company .. and that is something I appreciate..