Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

G'day @Shaz51

I'm glad you feel energized this morning - I do too - the birds are singing and that always makes me feel happy - it seems to be an early spring - I really hope so

I am glad you were able to get to your step-daughter's birthday party and that you and Mr Shaz had a good time - pity you couldn't stay overnight but I also hope you had a good night out on your own

Have the best day you possible can

Dec

Way to go @Shaz51 - keep strong!!

❤️💐💕 @Shaz51 ......

Good morning everyone .... 🤗💕

Hey @Shaz51

What @Mazarita said is very practical (I am sorry, I tend to be a bit clinical - but that is how I cope).

When we love someone we do give part of ourselves to them and this does involve vulnerability - healthy Interdependence is the goal - awareness and understanding is the key to this.

Having our own interests and allowing our partners to pursue theirs is part of this and like @Mazarita this has also been what Mr Darcy & I have done in the past. Our separate activities mainly involved day trips or outings - I would go with a girlfriend to gardening things and sometimes he would go to the Melbourne Cup or the footy with his friends, at other times we would enjoy doing things together. If I had a rostered day off, I would often enjoy going out to a cafe, sometimes with a friend, but often by myself - usually with a magazine that had caught my attention. We have had ocassional holidays on our own but not many.

During times of acute illness, things are different and our partners rely more on us as we do on them when we are not well - Mr Darcy stepped in and did a lot of things for me when I was in plaster with a fractured ankle which I appreciated greatly. @Mazarita - @Littletink_ 's partner lacks motivation and is highly dependant at present and Lt is feeling very smothered. I don't know if you would be kind enough to perhaps share something from the lived experience side that might help.

It can be difficult to get one's mojo back after an acute event, both for the patient and their partner and it cannot be forced, although sometimes it does take effort and we do get the rewards if we push ourselves just a little. I have found that healing and recovery can take a lot of time and cannot be rushed either. Mr Darcy is still recovering from his acute episode and still struggles, I have not yet been able to get back into the garden as I did before our crisis but am starting to do other things and the gardening will come in time.

I understand what works for me/us both in a practical and emotional sense will be different for others.

Darcy

No need to be sorry @Former-Member, I agree with you too my friend

sending you Hugs @Former-Member

Hi @Former-Member

Barely had a chance to look at the forums - been trying to do everything...

Mr Cath has been gone for over 2 weeks now. He wanted to come home and we both acknowledged that the relationship has been struggling since the attempt...and then he has started turning that around and trying to blame the relationship for the attempt in the first place, which goes against everything that has been said before. I feel like he is now out to blame me.

All the feelings that I have been unable to express due to being aware of his feelings and his illness are now bursting to get out. I am beyond furious and am so hurt. I don't feel that I even know him.

I am not sure what happens next to be honest.

Ps @Shaz51 Sorry I have been so absent but sending hugs your way xxx