@Shaz51Fear was a big one for me when Mr Darcy was suicidal and in hindsight psychotic.
I can tell you what changed things for me.
1. Understanding mental illness and being able to give the docs pertinent information that brought about a diagnosis that I felt confident in and accept.
2. Understanding and coming to terms with the fact that Mr Darcy's diagnosis is s serious mental illness that can be terminal by way of self harm if not adequately treated (and in some cases even if adequately treated)
3. Trusting that the meds would help in
a. relieving suicide and ideation (and there is very strong evidence for the mood stabiliser he is on) and
b. preventing relapse (the drug combination he is on had the strongest evidence for this).
4. Being involved in and understanding the relapse prevention plan (finding a good balance for us with patient autonomy and appropriate carer support), I based my values around this on other medical illnesses such as cancer and diabetes. To me this is an important component to a relationship and I am grateful Mr Darcy has the same values and he knows I have he wellbeing at heart).
5. Understanding there will be ups and downs and that if relapse prevention plan is followed, meds can be adjusted and relapse prevented.
6. Understanding we can live well in spite of a mental illness, finding the fresh hope website and finding their tenets extremely helpful. Still hold on to hope (defiantly) that Mr Darcy will come to believe this.
http://freshhope.us/about-fresh-hope/This does not mean at times I am not afraid but have learned when fear is legitimate - that is a realistic threatening situation where action is required.
Mr Darcy's recent issue is one of these times. He appears to be deteriorating BUT he has increasing pain. This pain is at a site he injured in an attempt. After looking things up I realise that I do not need to be afraid if we get things looked at (which we are doing); hopefully things can be sorted - which may be challenging given his BPii diagnosis and potential drug interactions. I understand that there may need to be input from his pdoc given there might be a psychosomatic component. I am hopeful that with encouragement and reassurances that Mr Darcy will engage with treatment and he will get sustained relief. There is a chance he may not; it is not inevitable and I will deal with that if it happens, in the mean time I cannot let that thought dominate my thoughts or stop me from encouraging Mr Darcy to get the help he needs which likely help.
Hope this helps.
Darcy
