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Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @PeppiPatty, over here my special friend xx

Hello Everyone

Love to hear from others on the forum if you experience this

My hubby has been diagnosed with lots of things and has had MI all his life

do you find things goes ok and i start to feel confident and wanting to go forward and then everytime something always happens to upset it -- sometimes I think is it a controlling thing ?? that he wants to be in control ??

Don`t know if I am making this up , but i have that feeling ,

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In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Owlunar
Fortunately he can still drive our car, just not able to do volunteer driving.
D

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

OwlunarSenior Contributor

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Oh gee @Former-Member

He is okay - he can still drive - not being able to be after years with a clean driving record I feel cranky - I loved driving

Enough said

Dec

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Former-Member, I recommend exchanges .... same principle as removing a toy from a young child - you pass them a cup or something that they need to release the toy to be able to take hold if, then you "disappear" the toy.

Its not that you're treating him like a small child. Mr Darcy needs to be aware and actively involved in making exchanges, and if it can be something related to the item / situation being exchanged, all the better. If he can no longer drive the bus, is there some other aspect of volunteer work he can take on with the same organisation, so it becomes a sideways shift ?

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi @Faith-and-Hope,

Thanks for your words and I think that the thought of exchanging old for new is spot on, in Mr Darcy's case it is probably means swapping his old life for his new reality and grasping hold of living life to the full in spite of his diagnosis. Finding something meaningful for him is the hard bit.

Options for even volunteer work are really limited as during a particularly difficult period Mr Darcy went AWOL a number of times and attempted, so he is deemed a risk. We live in a small regional centre and a lot of people know about him going missing (was on the news and in the paper).

Where he volunteers (mainly lawn mowing) he once did a series of lectures and I often wonder how he really feels going there. He would be better off helping in the office and I did suggest giving him one off jobs there to test the waters but they have not been amenable to this.

I am really not sure what he can now do, he has not lost his intelligence but there is a high possibility of mild traumatic brain injury and there are things I have been passing on to the treating team that have been of concern. Resources for assessing this in the rural area we are in are very limited.

Mr D had marked lack of motivation caused by one lot if meds which took a long time to ease following discontinuation but thankfully is now doing things around home, in most cases not overly well, but I try not say things that discourage. He knows he is not doing things so well.

He really doesn't know what he wants to do and seems to enjoy little. At present he is filled with grief with what he has lost and has difficulty seeing his way forward. Hoping that in time something will come up and that he will find hope, identity and meaning.

Darcy

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Volunteer gardening comes to mind @Former-Member, or the library, if you have one in your area ? There are often menial tasks that are none-the-less interesting.

💜

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Thanks for the suggestions @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Owlunar
Thanks for your side of the story, living grief.

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Shaz51
How do you think Mr Shaz is going at the moment?
How are you coping?

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @Former-Member how are you my friend xx

yes thank you , go and see the kidney specialist on thursday for my 6 monthly checkup , had all my blood tests done during the week , and i have what is called a horseshoe kidney because of my rubella syndrone when i was born the kidney did not separate into 2 kidneys , the second kidney stayed attached and did not grow

Mr shaz is ok , a couple of things happened during the week which he ended up going back on all his meds -- until next time , he will try to go off them again , one reason is our church minister is leaving so mr shaz is not going back to church at all

In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hope kidney function steady @Shaz51.

There always seems to be something that upsets the apple cart Shazzle Dazzle. Does Mr Shaz find change difficult?
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