Oscillation between two mind sets

I am very new to medication @creative_writer I don't have much input I'm sorry. I guess I would say be as honest as you can be with your doc/psychiatrist and voice your concerns about being too medicated.

I used to get insomnia and it was terrible, the anxiety and circular thinking building to fever pitch. I had to develop basically a form of meditation from scratch to deal with it. Well along with a lot of other things but that is what really solved it for me ultimately. I've already said how it worked for me here and I have no idea if other people could use it.

Being strong for family... I know it well. My mum is not very emotionally stable and I have had to be very outwardly solid. It isn't easy but I am not sure what the alternative is. I think I need a psychologist again but the thought of finding one is so daunting.

I hear you about the insomnia @Acanthiza . That was me too. I had to go down the medication side of things to help with the insomnia. I'm glad meditation works for you.

As for finding a psychologist, you are not alone. It's like starting all over again. I want to see my psych, but I need a new MH care plan which means I have to see the dr first.. I phoned my doc and now she charges hefty fees. Before, she was a good dr and didn't charge high fees, so I made an effort to take a day off work to see her (she only works 2 mornings a week). Now that it's still hard to see her and charging so much on top, I'm really considering just going to anyone to get this MHCP just so I can speak to my psych...

But even then, changing drs is not easy... it can be quite daunting.

Please know you are not alone.

The system is wild @tyme I actually couldn't believe it when I recently tried to go through the proper channels. I have only had two psychologists: the first was free at uni, and the second wasn't accredited in Australia or whatever so I couldn't get the rebate anyway, he halved his fee instead for me. Even though he was pretty useless when it came to bipolar (what he told me made me convinced I didn't have it, glad I finally went and saw someone who knew what they were talking about) he was still a good man and helped me a lot.

I actually called him up last year for a one off session and he wouldn't let me pay because he said it was just friends talking. He said he was semi-retired after his heart surgery but would make an exception for me. Well I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that and I think I really need someone with specific expertise in bipolar.

I got distracted... I meant to just talk about how silly it is that you need to go to a dr to get a referral to a specific psychologist when really you have to shop around to find the one that is right for you. And this is with any session eating into the meager 8 or whatever it is you can get a year.

Can you tell this makes me angry? Well... I'm sorry you are having difficulties too. Changing doctors would be tough, going through so much again, trying to build rapport and trust. I guess we do what we have to.

The feeling of not wanting to worry people... but they should be worried probably, at least to an extent. I'm sorry the SI has been bad. I still get it semi-regularly, sometimes pretty intrusively, but they are just thoughts now and I can let them come and go, no urgency anymore. Feeling for you @creative_writer

Hope it gets better for you @creative_writer .

Thinking of you.

@creative_writer ❤️