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Sometimes I feel like I’m on top of things and don’t feel like my trauma defines me and I don’t feel so ashamed and scared. Other times I want to hide from the world and feel like a **** (I’m not going to say the word here since I don’t want to trigger anyone) 😭, I feel so ashamed that I don’t want people to know
@tyme, breathing exercises, imagery, prayers can help. But I think I might also need to take PRN, these racing thoughts won’t slow and I feel the urge to do things
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
Waiting for the PRN to kick in, I have the energy to be self-destructive 😞
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
I'm so sorry, but I think you will be better off without me here. I'm sorry if I have let anyone down, forgive me
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
tymeModerator
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
Hey @creative_writer ,
What makes you say that? Did someone do or say something for you to think that we don't want you here?
We hear it is hard for you now, but we want you to know we are still here for those who are going through difficult times. After all, who hasn't gone through difficult times?
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
I have convinced myself @tyme. I’m going to carry on listening to music about SI, because I don’t deserve anything. I can’t do anything right now because my family is in the room with the means. I’m sorry
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
I’m okay, I think I need to go to bed early and take my regular meds. I can feel the effects of PRN calming me, might need to take the regulars to feel more calm. I am hurting really badly 😢 but I’ll be able to stay safe. I have lost too much, my physical health and mental health haven’t been good. These memories won’t leave either. I am broken and damaged. I guess it’s expected for trauma symptoms to feel worse during bipolar flare up
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
Have to jump in here to say we certainly would NOT be better off without you Hon. It is extremely difficult for you at present but you are very much loved and cared about here @creative_writer I have been there and know it is so hard to question your whole life as well as not be able to see a future. I have been so fortunate to come out the other side of that ...and that is so much down to the members and staff here at SANE supporting me through. We are here to do the same for you ❤️
@Acanthiza@RiverSeal@tyme🌞
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
@Zoe7, it feels so hard 😢. Everything feels so hard and hopeless. When I start thinking about how and rereading over what I wrote in 2022, I know things are going downhill. I just hope I don’t need another PRN tomorrow, I’ve taken quite a few in the last two weeks. SANE has been very supportive, I don’t know where I would be without all of you supporting me 💖
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
tymeModerator
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
Hugs @creative_writer
You are part of our Forums Family
In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
AcanthizaSenior Contributor
Re: Oscillation between two mind sets
@creative_writerI'm sorry things have been so tough recently. There isn't a straightforward process or anything and bipolar fluctuates so it will be harder sometimes and easier other times. At least for me... important to try and remember that and sometimes just focus on getting through a bad patch. I really wish I could help but I don't know how, are your experiences similar to mine? Would the things that helped me be useful to you?
I guess that is how mental illness is there aren't obvious answers and everyone is different. I am rambling sorry, should just say you aren't alone while going through this stuff.
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