Oscillation between two mind sets

I guess. I'm doing full-time study, so that's why and for my master's I can only do it full-time @creative_writer

@creative_writer mm makes sense to have the thought that you're damaged after what has happened. Perhaps seeking ways to find self-empowerment could help - cos no one can have ownership over your body, be they a perpetrator of violence or a romantic interest. People can try to exert control, but not ownership. That is yours alone. And within the context of a romantic partnership, anyone who makes you feel like your body is theirs is probably not the right person for you, or needs some serious psychoeducation. I can very much understand your hesitations.

Are there ways you could try to take some metaphorical ownership back? Hone your body with exercise or take some self-defence classes (I've actually heard of self-defence classes being really helpful for survivors of SA, and I think in some areas they even run the classes specifically for survivors), or use it as a canvas for self-expression with tattoos or hairstyle. Dancing and singing are also huge, they're such fundamental parts of being human in my opinion. Acts of... er... self-love (in a physically intimate sense) might also be quite empowering, if it's something you're comfortable with.

Have you ever considered seeing a sex therapist?

Thanks @creative_writer

No, not really, but don't worry about @creative_writer

@creative_writer oh nice! My ears have two piercings each lobe, and the front ones are stretched - not heaps, but a little. Would you ever stretch? Maybe a new piercing is in order! Haha.

Could be helpful, especially cos sex is such a big part of life, but so often completely ignored or disregarded by most psychology/mental health practices. There is also always room for intellectual, emotional, and spiritual intimacy without requiring physical intimacy. I myself identify along the asexuality spectrum, and for me sex is not a requirement of an intimate relationship. I hope that you find someone who can show you experientially that you are worthy and deserving of love, compassion, and kindness, and that your body does not have to be shared for that relationship to have value.

Thank you @creative_writer