Oscillation between two mind sets

@Jynx, I think I have been caught up with wanting to emotions to leave and have been feeling disappointed that they are not. I feel like I keep waiting and waiting till I feel okay, but I just don’t feel okay.

I took a shower and watched some TV. I used a hydrating face mask which I’m going to wash off soon. I also did some driving

Aye, 'what we resist, persists' hey @creative_writer. Can be really frustrating to feel bogged down by or stuck with particular emotional states.

Nice one, sounds like a very self-care oriented day. You enjoy just driving around? Me too! Especially at night, when the roads are clear. Do you listen to music while driving?

@Jynx, the little voice inside me tells me it’s not okay to feel these emotions. I know they are part of being human, but I feel like they are bit out of control and excessive.

I find driving alright, I did end up with more pain afterwards, probably wasn’t the best day. I just drove around my area but didn’t listen to music. I had a driving lesson

@creative_writer this 'little voice' of yours, what do you think it is trying to accomplish by making those comments?

Oh true, nice one. Guessing that means you're on your L's? Are you hoping to get a car once you've got your licence? I found it has opened up many opportunities having a car. Whilst I would prefer not to have to own one (better public transport system and walkable cities when, Australia?), being able to scoot off into nature whenever I like has been really good for my mental health.

@Jynx, it’s repeating what I was told as a kid. That I was too sensitive and my emotions were too much.

Yeah, I’m on my L’s, I’m hoping to have my licence by this year. I would have to save up to get a car, maybe it’ll be easier once I have an income that isn’t student Centrelink payments. I can still use family car though

I feel tempted to go down the wrong path (I know it’ll make me feel better temporarily). My psych called it a “slippery slope”. My mind is trying to work out how to get access to the means. I think I’m losing the plot

@creative_writer so the little voice is just a parrot, and it's not parroting you. They're not your words, so you don't have to listen to them.

Noice! Hope you pass with flying colours! If you don't, don't sweat it - I failed my first driving test. I also failed one of the written. But after many years I have now been told I'm a really good driver. 120 hours or whatever you need on your L's might not seem like much, but it does take what, 10,000 hours to become an expert at something? I wish you much luck!

@Jynx, I don’t have to record hours, that’s only for those under 22. I just need to pass, but practicing is hard with chronic issues.

I know this is a ridiculous argument. If my uncle used unhealthy ways to cope with his Bipolar? Why can’t I? I’m desperate

Aye true @creative_writer well I hope you're able to go for your licence soon hun 🤞

Hmm... well the general reason is that unhealthy coping tools might provide short-term relief, but often end up compounding the current issue and adding further layers of distress and harm that end up needing to be addressed, thus lengthening the recovery process, and at times doing irreparable harm. How did using these things work out for your uncle?

@Jynx, I guess health implications. He died from a stroke, he wasn’t old. I want to forget the pain, it feels too much 😢. It’s hard knowing there is nothing I can do or anyone else can do to take this pain away. I don’t know if my tolerance has been worn down thing. It’s been harder lately. I pushed in the tears, I don’t even know how to cry anymore. My own privacy time is at night and by then I’m too tired anyways. I really don’t want to start having SI, but I am finding it hard to cope, so they are starting to surface. Unhealthy coping mechanism seemed like a better option than suicide. Though I know neither are good