Oscillation between two mind sets

Absolutely @creative_writer. Accepting that not every client is going to like me, not everyone is going to be a good fit, it's really freeing. Helps me to let go of the fallacy of being a saviour. I'm not a saviour, I'm literally just a human, having a heart to heart with another human.

Hmm @creative_writer well I guess the thing I've noticed is that I'm more likely to be triggered by someone who is really similar to me, which usually also means that we have built lots of rapport. I've actually just named it a couple times, but I wasn't suuuper triggered so it wasn't a huge deal. Since my biggest triggers have always revolved around my romantic relationships, they haven't really come up in my therapy work before either (I'd be pretty concerned if they did, lol). Any time I've had a particularly heavy call though, I've sought debriefing and supervision to help me process it all.

@creative_writer Debriefing is suuuuper important to have available, and whilst it can be daunting (esp if you're dealing with shame, e.g. 'I should be able to handle this' or some such) it is also incredibly important. Psychological injury is far less likely to become an ongoing issue if we get aftercare in the immediate aftermath. Think of it like a burn - it's gonna heal no matter what, but it'll be quicker and less painful if you run it under cold water as soon as it occurs.

I imagine that as you also keep working on processing your traumas, the likelihood of being triggered will become less and less. Especially as we also tend to get better at managing/self-soothing/regulating ourselves as we keep practicing each time we're triggered. I've come to realise that being triggered isn't always automatically bad. In fact if we're never triggered, we can't always identify what we need to be working on. And like, getting triggered in a setting where I can access immediate support (like a debrief) is much preferable to me than getting triggered in a setting that is unsafe, where I don't have a safe person there to talk to. And maybe that is a big part of it - do you feel safe with the people you're working with? You're not going to seek out a debrief if the person providing it isn't someone that you can be open/honest with, or feel held and supported by.

Incredible @creative_writer that truly warms me to hear! A valiant effort, you can be very proud of yourself for sure.

I'm actually kinda glad for you to have had both experiences in the different placements. Obviously I don't wish suffering or arduous experiences on anyone, but perhaps it has given you an eye for what a good workplace might look like. Gives you the ability to develop a set of standards/boundaries, so if future workplaces don't hit those marks for you in terms of getting sufficient support, feeling safe to seek debriefing, etc., you won't put up with them because you know there's better options out there.

Yeah absolutely @creative_writer and I am glad to hear you have those high standards! I reckon that whether or not a job (or placement) is going to make or break you is entirely dependent on workplace culture and management style. Could be the crappiest work in the world, but if you have a good bunch of people around you and supportive management, you'll be happy to show up every day. It can be hard to have high standards for that when you really need money, but considering how much our work is part of our daily life (and thus our mental health), it's worth being a little picky.

I wish more organisations, and especially mental health organisations, realised this.