Oscillation between two mind sets

Unlearning and relearning is a hard path to walk @creative_writer. Especially stuff that has been part of our belief systems since we were young. Perhaps, when you're practicing sitting in that discomfort of putting your needs first and you get hit with feeling that self-care is a guilty pleasure, you can try to focus more on the pleasure than on the guilt?

Hmm questions for you @creative_writer - how long did you hang on to that guilt for? Do you still carry it? Did it prevent you from properly engaging in self-care? What did that guilt want to achieve for you? Food for thought, you don't have to answer any of these here.

Guilt is such a tricky one, I'm still wrapping my head around how it shows up in my life. But I came to the conclusion that it can be a teacher - teaching us where our values lie, and perhaps where we might have more work to do. The hard part is letting go of the guilt once the lesson has been learned.

Yeah look, if the requirement for working in social work/mental health was complete mental stability, we wouldn't have enough therapists to go around 😅 Besides, staying humble and acknowledging you still have work to do towards your recovery is faaaar better than going the opposite way - thinking you're all healed up and now an expert on how everyone else ought to be experiencing their own MH struggles.

Absolutely making a list is a good idea @creative_writer for two reasons, in my opinion. First off, our brains shut down a lot of higher order functioning when in survival mode - which can feel like tunnel vision, inability to make decisions (analysis paralysis), forgetfulness, etc. - so having a tangible list you can refer back to takes away the leg work of trying to come up with strategies on the spot. Secondly, because it can externalise the process. A vague and incomplete list in one's mind is a lot easier to ignore than a complete and visible list pinned to the wall.

Absolutely! I tend to use my lived experience a lot in my work - it seems to go down well like 99% of the time. And does exactly what you say, builds that deeper connection and empathy. If you haven't already, you could always explore Carl Jung's concept of the Wounded Healer! It goes a bit deeper into this, and how it also can be impactful (and useful) within therapeutic relationships.

@creative_writer aye, human we are indeed.

I think there's also an art to self-disclosure, to ensure the purpose remains rooted in supporting the client and avoiding accidentally creating a situation where the client feels like they need to take care of or provide support to the therapist. Or if the client feels like the therapist is stealing the spotlight, for lack of better phrasing. Good skill to learn for sure.

Thanks for the good, hearty chats on the topic! Always keen to dive deep into stuff like this 😊

@creative_writer I play it by ear, very much based on the kind of rapport I have built with the client. It has been a definite trend for me that I feel more able to be open/to self-disclose more frequently with other neurodiverse peeps. Which makes sense, especially when there's that shared experience (which are often experiences we've been stigmatised for too) and mutual understanding of symptoms etc.