Oscillation between two mind sets

Some relaxation would be good for sure @creative_writer

What do you like doing for that?

I am logging off now but I will check in with you tomorrow ❤️

I hope the meeting with your placement team goes well and offers some distraction

All the best for your placement meeting @creative_writer - I'm around tonight if you wanna chat/distract/debrief/whatever you need 💜

@creative_writer nice one!! Good stuff with utilising your regulation skills hun, that's awesome. And look, if I walked out of an interview and I wasn't at least partially drenched in sweat, was it even that important to me? Probably not 🤣

I do really feel you on the attention span struggles. It can get very frustrating, especially if you feel like you're falling behind. Couple of ideas that have helped me - 1. Going somewhere else, like a library, can help, because we associate that space with studying and can help with containment (i.e. library is where study occurs, anxious thoughts stay at home); 2. Externalising the anxious thoughts, either by calling someone, writing them in a journal, or even recording a voice note.

On that note, my psych actually pointed out to me that in terms of us processing our thoughts and emotions, externalising them is a really important step. Otherwise they can end up just swirling and cycling around our brains and keeping us stuck.

Always happy to listen if you want to have a vent hun 💜

@Jynxmy mum was in the car with me. She fixed my eyebrows and scarf before I went in, because eyebrows and scarves don’t always behave 😂.

I’m not sure if my attention span was ever that great, I used to randomly get up and walk around while studying at home. I couldn’t do that at school, so I just stimmed other ways. Sometimes my body needs movement, you know. I do feel anxiety and depression has amplified my ability to concentrate. Library can work as long as your head isn’t too full. I’m learning the importance of externalisation, I haven’t always been so great at that, I still don’t think I am. Sometimes I cannot even put words to my emotions, it’s so weird. Sometimes I am too overwhelmed to describe how I feel. Like I’ll know I feel shit but I can’t always put words to it. Like I’ll feel this sense of unease, but my mind is too scattered to understand what is going on

Aww bless @creative_writer haha scarves and eyebrows, so unruly!!

Hmm... well we were just talking about ADHD! One of the screening questionnaires I did asked the question, 'Do you find it difficult to remain seated or do you sometimes stand up at inappropriate times?' or something like that. I never really noticed this constant inner restlessness until a) I got diagnosed and learned to recognise it, and b) started on ADHD meds and actually experienced inner calm for the first time ever. Side note: if pursuing an ADHD diagnosis is an accessible avenue for you, it might be worth exploring, because the medication really, really helps. Also what you're describing with the inability to identify emotions sounds like alexithymia, which is also associated with neurodiverse brains!

Yeah if you're not used to externalising it can feel super awkward at first! Gets easier though and does really help. You've already had a bunch of practice just in how much you've been able to express here on the forums 💜

@creative_writer aww yay, that makes me very happy to hear - I love our conversations too!

I think it's very worth bringing up with your psych! I found it super helpful to fill out some screening questionnaires first too - if you google 'Jasper Goldberg pdf' one should pop up.

There's currently three diff subcategories for ADHD - hyperactive type, inattentive type, and combined type. I am combined type but a little more on the inattentive side (always daydreaming, haha). As far as I know, women are way more likely to be inattentive type, which is also why they're often not diagnosed until much later in life - I think because the ADHD stereotype is a boistrous young boy who is always disruptive. I mean there's a reason I didn't get diagnosed until I was 27 and halfway through my counselling degree!

I dunno if you caught the Topic Tuesday at which I was the guest? It was a couple of years ago now, but I found it, and maybe you might find this response intresting, my answer to a question about common misconceptions about ADHD. And of course I'm always happy to yammer on about it so if you got more queries, ask me anything 😉

I feel you on words getting mixed up in the brain. I think that's why I've ended up working here on forums - the written form of support really works with my brain. I'm glad to hear that you're taking those steps to be accepting of your differences. It's something to celebrate, in my eyes.

Glad that things are feeling better for you this evening after a rough start hun. Warms me to hear 💜

Okay @creative_writer I wanna be careful not to over-identify with your story cos it's not my place to say whether you do or don't have ADHD - that is your journey.

But also HI YEP THAT SOUNDS LIKE ME 😅

Something my ADHD friends and I have often spoken about is how intense and speedy our thoughts are! It's why we end up on so many conversational tangents, cos everything reminds us of other stuff and then our brains are like ZOOP time to introduce a seemingly random topic! And same goes for working better with structure! If I don't have structure around me I fall to pieces. Like if I'm asked to finish a form or something at work, and I don't have a deadline already, I have to ask for one or I will never get stuff done!

"People tell me I am intelligent, but I always feel like I’m underperforming." Big mood! There's another questionnaire (worth doing, but it's a lot longer and goes into questions about childhood and stuff) called the DIVA 2.0. It asks a lot of questions about performance at school, and in that section I scored really low, cos I did pretty well in high school. But then there was a question that was along the lines of, 'Was your school performance adequate due to high intelligence?' or something like that. Like I barely studied, but I got decent grades - and then that came back to bite me later cos I never developed good study skills/habits and I know that if I had, I would've gotten a way higher ATAR.

For the record, all of our interactions are evidence enough to me of your high intelligence. Just sayin'.

I hadn't done anything nice for myself yet this evening, but I appreciate the prompt, cos now I think I will - gonna have my last hot choccie and settle in with a book after I log off. So I much appreciate your words, and wish the same for you 💜