Oscillation between two mind sets

@creative_writer aye it's harder to invest time and energy when the topic isn't your are of passion hey.

Ach, weird body sensations get to me sometimes! I think it helps to remember that unless you're struggling to breathe or you're getting other body things that indicate a medical emergency, it's probably fine, and if I focus too much on it I often end up exacerbating it instead.

If you've been stuck in assignment land for ages, maybe some gentle stretches or something is needed?

@Jynx, it does get worse thinking about it, or it may spread to other parts of the body, then I start feeling gross.

I feel like I'm not going to get much done for the rest of the day, I really hate how much progress I have made today but it is what it is

@creative_writer we can only do what we can do! Haha if I had an assignment due Tuesday, I wouldn't be doing the majority till Monday, so you're already ahead by my standards! Buuuut maybe my ADHD-panic-fuelled-last-minute-whirlwind approach is not the best standard to measure by 🤣

I hope you're able to get some solid rest tonight hun, come back to it tomorrow with fresh eyes 😉

@Jynx my mum says I still have time, but I like sticking to plans. I’m a INFJ on Myers Biggs personality for a reason. It is true I had other tasks to do yesterday so I didn’t get as much done on this essay. Maybe I was being unrealistic by setting a bar that was too high considering how shitty today has been. It’s still shitty, body flashbacks love me too much 😞. I’m hoping I can just cram the rest in until Tuesday. It’s due at 11:59pm, so I have the whole of Tuesday too. I wanted to dedicate some time for proofreading since I am a perfectionist after all. Anything below the top grade is a fail for me

I never really went in for the personality types thing @creative_writer - I'm not a fan of anything that pidgeon-holes me into a certain set of thoughts/patterns/behaviours. I kind of think of it like.... if I do this quiz and it pops up as result x, then does that influence me to behave according to x in the future, even if my instincts tell me to behave differently? Kinda the same line of thinking that I have about the DSM-V and diagnostic criteria; I don't like to over-define myself I guess. Thought I could bet that someone who knows more about the Myer-Briggs dealio could read that and say 'Well that's just a very IFND thing to say!' (I don't know all the codes, don't @ me on that one 🤣).

I think one thing that can help with a perfectionist tendency is to practice being more flexible and allowing some leeway for unforseen circumstances. Maybe you set the bar too high - but you can always lower the bar a bit! Give yourself some grace, and remind yourself that you are still doing your best - it's just that our best looks different very day.

@Jynx I don’t think anyone could humanely be 100% INFJ or whatever it comes up. It just sort helps you understand your behaviour in an our sense and not help you understand the other aspects of your personality. Kind of like the DSM in a way. Like I have a friend who is the same personality as me but she is alike but also different than me.

I tend towards becoming a bit obsessive with things being perfect but I know it looks different everyday. I also have a bad migraine now. High energy emotional states are the worst, worse than just plain depression

Aye true @creative_writer and I'm all for folks being able to find things that help them to make sense of themselves. Just not for me 😉

It's amazing how many ND folk I know who are perfectionists. I myself sometimes have to shake myself out of hyperfocus when I get super bogged down in the tiniest of details, cos I just need it to be correct!! And then I take a breather and go 'wait wtf am I doing this is irrelevant to the task and has absolutely no consequences for being wrong why did I just spend two hours on this' 🤣

Aww hope your migraine doesn't worsen, and you're able to get off to sleep okay tonight. I'll be logging off soon anyway so if the light from your phone/computer is contributing, mayhaps we say goodnight here?

@Jynx I did not realise it was a ND thing, but now you mention being bogged down by details, it makes sense. I can hyperfocus too, and be utterly unproductive for a long time trying to fix something that won't be fixed.

My migraine is better and my thoughts aren't racing. I just woke up feeling better today. I guess PRN and sleep did it's trick of calming me down. It's so important to sleep well when agitated. I'm still sick though, I hope my immune system wakes up and behaves itself, not fun being sick for 2-3 weeks. I can't say I didn't get those paralysing thought, I still did, but it's just life, can't erase the memories, you can only learn to deal with them better

@creative_writer glad to hear that sleep helped hun, it does make such a huge difference hey. How's your day been so far?

Yeah it's been really interesting learning about all the traits I have that are actually ND things, that I never realised. Dopamine-seeking behaviours, emotional dysregulation, hyperfocus, special interests, whacky sleep schedule, you name it lol.

@Jynx I think this prolonged illness is not helping my mental health, I’m starting to wonder if I really do need antibiotics. Got a GP appointment tomorrow. The other GP on Friday just told me to wing it and see. I’ve been sick for like 3 weeks now, that’s not good.

I’m naturally cautious but when emotions run wild I can be dopamine seeking too. I feel emotional deregulation is harder with sensory overload. I have also heard about hyper focus being related to ND. Sleep schedule makes sense too, I’m particularly sensitive to evening light, do you notice anything too?