Oscillation between two mind sets

@creative_writer oof yeah three weeks is ages! Hopefully you can get some antibiotics when you see your GP tomoz, cos I imagine that it's like, compounded impact (i.e. the longer you're sick, the more difficult it is to remain resilient for everything else).

Aye for sure, sensory overload impacts everything hey! I'm more sound sensitive than light sensitive, a LOT of sounds make me incredibly uncomfortable. My friend remarked once on the fact that I had to block my ears walking across a freeway overpass - they said it wasn't that loud but to me it was actually painful.

With light though I HATE fluorescent light, like the kind they have in offices and supermarkets and stuff. All my lighting at home is warm white, and I generally prefer lamps over ceiling lights.

@Jynx I don’t know why I always keep getting sick. It’s like when I get better, it comes back strong again.

I don’t think I could survive a concert. I would get so irritated. How do you go to a concert when ND? Lights can be so annoying, but lamps do feel better. I don’t like super bright lights, they give me migraines

Have you ever looked into immune system disorders or anything like that @creative_writer?

I guess when I greatly enjoy the music, I'm there with friends, and I get to have a good dance and feel the energy of the dance floor, it invigorates me. Also lasers are pretty! And I have friends who smoke so I end up taking regular breaks with them in the smoker's area, which is usually nice and dark.

Plus we all have our limits, sensitivities, and things that drain us vs. things that energise us. Perhaps that's just not the right environment for you, and that's okay!

@Jynx nobody really had been able identify a lot of the symptoms I have because they are so general. I’m constantly getting sick, having body aches a lot, I don’t know if I keep spraining myself without realising or something since my joints are so flexible. Also experience a lot of fatigue, potential POTS (it hasn’t been properly diagnosed though), and migraine pain is persistent. I literally have no clue where to go or what to do.

Parties exhaust me with the loud music and lights. I haven’t ever been able to get into it. I always prefer the one on one or small group chats away from the overwhelming world

@creative_writer do you have EDS as well? It's pretty common amongst ND folks, and hypermobility is a symptom. I can imagine it's really frustrating having all these symptoms but no answers. Gabor Mate is someone to look into maybe? He looks at connection between trauma and physical pain.

Yeah fair enough! It has to be the right music if I'm gonna get into it. I do also love a good chill chat and banter session too, with a couple of choice peeps. Just depends on the day I spose!

@Jynx I think I do, it’s never been diagnosed though. It is true the mind and body are very connected. I’ve held trauma and emotions in for so long, it’s hard to let go. I don’t even realise everything I hold onto. It’s just how I learnt to deal with things. I learnt to keep it in since I was a kid. I would force myself not to cry, I learnt to do it over time. People really shouldn’t make fun of children crying or tell them not to cry. I used to be told I looked like a clown.

We all have our own individual way of dealing with ND. I’m also very introverted by default, parties are too loud and too draining for my social battery

Oh hun... oh my @creative_writer you poor dear, no one deserves to hear that. You're right, everyone deserves to be able to cry freely without being subject to ridicule. You probably just look like how everyone looks when they cry - red, puffy, and slightly moist. No one looks pretty crying, don't you worry - but we all need to do it, we all deserve to do it, and it's as natural for us as breathing.

I've found I'm a mix - with the right people, the type who don't drain my social battery, I can be super extroverted, spend hours chatting and dancing and doing random stuff. But I also need time alone, and find that there's some people (I call them energy vampires) with whom I have a very limited time I can spend before I become agitated.

@Jynx it is hard to look pretty while crying. I think some people just find it hard managing others’ tears. I only did what I thought I was meant to do. Kids are adaptive, they adapt to their environments. I think for me a lot of the problem is I keep emotions in. It would be easier to let go, but I just can’t. It’s lonely too but I’m used to lonely.

Some people are a lot more exhausting than others. I find it gets exhausting when you constantly have to be really guarded. You know when you’re talking to people who want to know each and every detail of your life so they can spread your gossip to the next person

Totally @creative_writer keeping em in would make it so hard. What we resist persists, and all that jazz. Is it something you're currently working on in therapy?

Oh totally, there's definitely a difference in the kind of energy someone gives off when they're being inauthentic. I've learned to really trust my gut when it comes to making new friends!

I’ve been working through the emotions that have been lying within me in therapy @Jynx. I have my psych appointment tomorrow morning, have lots to talk about but I’m afraid of how I’m going to fit it all in one hour. Last time I saw her was a month ago.

Some people are just plain annoying and aren’t worth the time. You do have to check in with yourself and trust your gut. Gut instinct is very powerful