Oscillation between two mind sets

I reckon that's a good approach @creative_writer - you know more now about what you want, and what is simply not good enough. You can set your standards, and ensure that they're being met, if not exceeded. It's your placement experience after all, what good is it if it's not even giving you the experience and learnings that you are looking for? I think it's a good idea to dip your toes in, see how it goes - and if you get the sense that it's not going to actually be helpful to your career, then you can ask for change. Even if it is the second time it's happened, it doesn't matter - this is your journey, your education, and you're allowed to demand it meet your standards.

@creative_writer you spoken to your psych about exposure therapy? (Quick side note, I just accidentally typed 'explosure therapy' at first and had to chuckle at the mental image of treating CPTSD with explosions)

I am not saying that during placement is the ideal setting for this kind of thing, but generally speaking in order to reduce the impact and frequency of triggers, we need to be exposed to them to re-wire the brain and teach it that the triggering scenario is actually safe. Do you keep track of or know generally what sorts of things tend to trigger your flashbacks?

I reckon if you're upfront about your flashbacks from the get go, you can ascertain early on whether it will be a supportive place with supportive supervisors, is that your thinking/plan too?

@creative_writer perhaps you could keep a journal handy and just make a little note every time it happens, not forever just for a while - try to map out and look for trends and patterns, see if there's times of day or surrounding circumstances that cause them to pop up more frequently.

That sounds wise! Like I didn't imagine you just going in and trauma-dumping on day 1 lol but yes, slowly ascertaining whether or not it is safe to be open is a good way to go about it.

@creative_writer I'm glad that you're approaching it with this kind of awareness of other factors, and giving yourself some self-compassion by not being too judgemental about things kicking up a bit more intensely of late. It's all practice too - every time you soothe yourself after being triggered, you get a little bit better at it. Every time a flashback hits and you're able to ground yourself/remind yourself you're safe, you reduce its power over you. You got this hun, I know you do ✊💜

Mm I think you're on the money making the distinction between a supervisory relationship and a therapeutic one! You know yourself and your needs best, and if you don't see a need to inform them of the flashbacks, then that's the way to go! You can decide as you go how much information is relevant, and what feels safe to reveal - trust your gut!

I'm off for tonight, I'll catch you tomorrow hun if you're about. Hope you have a nice restful sleep. Huuuugs 💜