Far and Away

@Zoe7 you are enough.

There have been people in my life for a long time that were telling me I wasn’t enough. At first I was terribly hurt, and tried to make things up to them, tried to help them to see that I was enough ..... but they didn’t want to see that.

Then. I had a realisation ..... they weren’t enough for me.

They may have been enough for themselves and happy in their own company, but I needed people around me who could see that I was enough, who believed in me and put wind beneath my wings ......

Unfortunately the people I needed, who knew I was enough existed in the same place as those who didn’t believe in me and thought I wasn’t enough, so just like you are feeling the agony of what to do, others who care about me helped me, the way we who care about you here are helping you ......

I had to learn to turn deaf ears to those who didn’t support me, and open my voice loud and clear to those who did, and who still do.

We are here @Zoe7 . We believe in you, and as others here have said, they have learned to turn deaf ears to things that were better left unsaid, and avoid those who say the sort of things that are better left unsaid, and stayed ...... they have held the space here that belongs to them, that they have a right to, amongst their forum friends, and refused to be chased off their own property ❣️

Right here to help you do that Hon, as are @Teej @Sans911 @Former-Member @eth @BlueBay @oceangirl to name only a few ...... there are others posting messages for you every day on ANC thread.

If you were with me at that time @Zoe7 , if I had met you back then, you would have been telling me that I was enough, and that if I stayed, those who loved me would help me find my voice again (and they did, and it took counselling to achieve it) ..... just as we will for you Sweetheart ...... just hold on and we will help you.

Its so much easier to see the support and answers that others need when we have an empathetic nature, and much harder to see in ourselves ...... but if we learn to become a best friend to ourselves, as our best friend would tell us ...... “you can do this ..... you can stay, find the boundaries, put on deaf ears at times and with people you need to, and find that voice that helps so many, and also for you .....”

❤️🦋💕

Maybe postpone making the decision @Zoe7 ? Park it up as too difficult for today, and rest your tired heart and brain ?

Sitting here with you .....

@oceangirl @BlueBay

@Faith-and-Hope I hear you Hon but unfortunately those that think I am not enough matter - they shouldn't but they do. It has seriously affected my own belief of myself and made me feel as though I am not enough. That has been transferred onto here - so how can I have a voice when I feel like nothing I do matters. I feel sick with that feeling.

I don't want to feel like this - I can't do anything - I feel completely destroyed. I don't even want Toby next to me but that hasn't stopped him snuggling in. I am so glad I have him and Cat! today.

I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I am finding it so very hard to fight these feelings and find my way back here. I can't read posts or reply to anyone apart from here - it just does not feel safe for me ...and that is not because of the lovely people here - I know how much they care. I know how much support I have and that I know is a measure of how much I have also given to others - but right now that is not enough.

I am heading so far into that hole and afraid this time I won't be able to come back from it. I honestly wish that I didn't care, that I didn't have feelings and that I hadn't fought so hard for things to be different. I truly feel defeated right now.

@Faith-and-Hope I truly wish I could talk to you about all this and where it is coming from but I can't and that makes it so much harder

Have you been in contact with your doctor and therapist about this @Zoe7 ? You really need some support on the ground with it too. When is your follow-up about the meds change ?

Gp Wednesday and pdoc Wednesday week @Faith-and-Hope

Hugs and hugs @Zoe7 ..... I am sitting with you anyway, holding you close and praying over you ...... just keep taking it one minute at a time Hon. I am so glad you have Toby and Cat too ❣️

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope

@Zoe7

You're enough