Far and Away

I am paid fortnightly @Former-Member but still playing catch up from the holidays when I wasn't paid as much as I was getting from income protection - had to use all I had saved on bills so now I am being paid properly again I can get back on an even keel after another couple of pays.

It could be a really good thing for me to go out - at least for part of the night. I probably won't go out afterwards with them - just to dinner. I really can't take noise still and being at a bar or a club is not my thing anymore.

Going to log off @Faith-and-Hope Need to lay down and get away from the screen for a while. Not sure whether I will come back on tonight Hon so hope Visual has made a lovely dinner for you all and you can get some lighter monents in your evening. Chat later my angel

Goodnight @Zoe7 .... rest well Hon 😘💤

Hi @Faith-and-Hope I have had a pretty good day today - headache has nearly gone and din't get any worse today so made it easier to get through the day. I was pretty flat out all day but got a lot done. It was a beautiful day so while on duty at lunchtime I got my sun in for the day. The kids were good all day - at least the ones I was working with I got some testing done with some kids and will finsih that next week so the class teacher will be happy. Have some more testing of kids tomorrow in the 1/2 class before I head off to the Athletics Carnival to help out for the afternoon. It is supposed to be hot tomorrow so I am not looking forward to that but hopefully the day will go quickly.

I have a few things I want to get done tonight so I don't have much to do over the weekend then will settle in for the night.

How has your day been?

It was a good day uni-wise @Zoe7 ..... but I can see trouble brewing on other fronts. I was included in an email today that indicates mil is booked to come on the trip mid-year. There is a low cancellation fee on the airfares so mr. has booked for all of us, saying that it’s easier to cancel than to find tickets on special last minute .....

He is also talking about travelling to another family property a couple hours drive away from the centre we stay in there, purchasing it from the current caretakers, and renovating and furnishing it before the holiday ..... which means him going over and back between now and then .... plus moving our household in the west to the unit there before Easter ..... and my head is spinning .....

S2 definitely wants to go, but I don’t know that he has been brought up to speed with what mr. intends, so I don’t think it would be the holiday he thinks he is signing up for, and D3 doesn’t think she has a voice to say whether she goes or not ......

Far out !! I’m going to take some time out of this brain space for a while ..... come back to it later.

Seriously @Faith-and-Hope he is not considering anyone else at all. This is likely to set your kids back so much and D3 not thinking she has a voice is the very last thing she needs. S2 can make his own decision but needs all the info first - maybe then he will change his mind. It is obvious that Mr. is trying to control everyone again (still) and that will be detrimental to the whole family ...what will he say when S2 and D3 don't have the energy to attend uni when they get back - that will not be good for their confidence.

I am really angry for you Hon - this is not right. No doubt he will whinge when you all say you can't go and bring up similar issues that he did the other night - but this is not about your kids not wanting to spend time with him - it is their lives that would be thrown into turmoil for his own personal benefit. grrrr - so hearing how ridiculous this is for you Hon and how little he listens (or cares) about everyone elses views.

It is good that uni-wise everything is ok - at least you have that soft place to fall with your art. Very much feeling for you Hon

Yeah .... thinking about approaches @Zoe7 . There was a chance that we could go, and stay in one place, then come back, and it could have been restful and a break away ..... but not with mil there, and sleeping arrangement were already awkward within the space without adding another person ..... and even though the other family place is only a couple of hours away, it’s likely a couple of hours too much ..... and then there is change and more change, and changes in the west to mentally and emotionally assimilate ...... and this is feeling more and more like the world he is living on the inside at 100 kms an hour spilling out over all

of us ..... and it’s suppised to be a generosity, but yeah, it’s feeling more like grandeosity I think.

Need to take a big breath and start sorting this out ..... and I think the counselling for me is timely in all this.

Grandeosity is a perfect word for what he is doing @Faith-and-Hope SO much to consider for you in regards to all this - it is not just a family trip away 0 it is a big upheaval in everyone's life ...and having MIL there certainly would further add to the tensions.

I really hope this counsellor is a good fit for you - you very much need it right now.

On a positive note from me - just spoke to my sister and she is going to lend me some money. I told her about the dinner tomorrow night and she is very happy I said I would go - she was even a bit excited for me - now I just have to actually make it there and hopefully have a good time.

Yes @Zoe7 .... go you ❣️ I hope you have a lovely time and then start looking forward to the next one .... 😊

I spoke to S2, and for him it is more about not being able to sit with himself ..... he has to stay busy and keep moving asa part of his recovery. Time alone, or “down time” is feeding anxiety and depression in him, so he is up for staying on the roundabout. He is not fazed by mr., saying that when he blows his stack, he is coming back within a day to apologise, and he can live with that. Mil is not a problem for him either.

D3 would like to go, but the variables are increasing, and she feels that one more person, partocularly this one more person, would be a hardship, and she wouldn’t want to go without me.

D2 will be distressed if they all go and we don’t ..... still no easy answer, but I think I am going to have to stick to my intuition. I think being there with mil is not going to be healthy for me, and the rest of it is an overload anyway.

Lets see how this goes down ....,

It definitely sounds like the initial plan with S2 going and you and the girls staying home is what you should do @Faith-and-Hope The mere fact that D3 is reluctant to go with the added person is enough reason for her to stay - she does not need the added pressures just when she is beginning to find her feet.

MIL is a huge factor - I know how she treats you and you do not need that in such a confined space for those couple of weeks - it would not be healthy for anyone but paticularly you. Stick to your guns here Hon snd put yourself first - the girls will be okay if you stand your ground and they are with you.