Far and Away

You have really helped to fill that hole @CheerBear and it has been wonderful having that support in what has been a hard time to get through. Staying connected here on this thread and seeing @Faith-and-Hope's supports has helped also. I am super excited to have her back and if I keep myself busy this week then the time will go even quicker.

Hoping very much to hear from HR on Tuesday so I have time to visit my new school and start to get things moved in. My sister has offered to spend a day or 2 (however long it takes) to get the classroom set up. That was so lovely of her as she is on holidays as well and I am sure she has plenty that she wants to get done before she goes back to work. Our relationship has certainly improved recently and she has been very supportive and helpful - and I have acceted that help which is also a big thing from my point of view. Mst of the reason I didn't want her around before is that she was always complaining about her relationship and it got too much for me - I wasn't dealing with myself so couldn't deal with anyone elses 'issues' - now that I am more stable myself I can handle it more but it seems things for her are a bit better too.

I really should get outside now and get started. I hope you AWOL motivation returns for you too CB - not good when we know we need to do things but haven't got that energy or motivation - I am hoping the energy returns for me once I get stuck into it - see how I go.

Many hugs and much love coming both your ways 💜💙💚🧡💛

hi @CheerBear, I have difficulty with motivation also. I have not done any exercise for several days and have been eating a lot of sugar and junk food, plus wines which have a lot of sugar. I started the new year well with doing lots of walking but then things became very difficult in my relationships with friends and I started reaching for sugar for comfort. It is hard. Today I am planning on going for a long walk, something to get my heart going. Wish me luck. I hope you too can find some motivation.

what are your goals for today if you can find the motivaiton?

Hi @BryanaCamp 🙂 I don't think we've 'met' before. It's nice to meet you and welcome to the forum. How are you finding it so far?

Motivation can be a real struggle sometimes! Exercise and eating well are two pretty common battles from my understanding. Sorry to hear you are having some difficulties in your relationship with friends.

I'm at the end of a long weeks of school holidays with my kids and have found it tricky to be out of routine. Today I am hoping to get them moving on some bedroom cleaning and organising. I'd like to do some washing and maybe mow too.

Good luck with your walk! Sounds like a great thing to do today.

While I think of it, there's a daily goals and motivation thread here that you might be interested in.

Looking forward to seeing you around 🙂

Only a week left @CheerBear and I can't wait for that time to psas and for @Faith-and-Hope to be back posting 🤸‍♀️

I am totally unmotivated today too - spent most of the morning sleeping after a not so good night. Woke up several times again despite being very tired last night. Need to get moving myself to get things done today but I do feel like this will be very difficult today.

@BryanaCamp so you know - our friend @Faith-and-Hope has been overseas for a couple of months and so has been unable to post. We are very close and I have missed her a lot but she comes back very soon so I am very excited that I will be able to chat to her again and no doubt she will be just as axcited to be back with us all here.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear Feeling very tired and flat again this morning but I am putting that down to a not so great night with waking up several times and not so nice dreams. It is that fine line again between what is reality and what is a dream so very much trying to get past that today. I really do have a lot to do still in the garage but it is also getting very hot out there already and yet again it is super windy and so I can't move things around outside. I am planning on moving some things from inside out into the garage - just need the motivation to start.

Didn't hear from friend yesterday but am waiting for him to message me - I do feel a bit different about our friendship now and not being able to talk to him about it face to face does leave some things still going around in my mind. I am still not sure where I stand on what he told me - my heart and my head are still in opposition there (CB I know you know that position very well ) I don't want him to think I am walking away from him because of what he told me as that took great courage but I also have to stick to my own values - it is a tricky situation that is not black and white and I think this is where the confusion is coming in my own mind. We can only see what happens from here on and go with the flow I suppose.

Not long now and you will be home @Faith-and-Hope and I think you know how excited I am for that day to finally get here. I have missed you every day and cannot wait until we can chat again. I hope you are okay and looking forward to coming home. We have definitely missed you here Hon 💛🧡💚💙💜

I did see you had the return of tricky nightmares @CheerBear - it totally sucks - must be something in the air for us both hey I too need to mow but so little motivation that I suspect I will go back to sleep instead. It sounds like you have a lot to get done inside though so the mowing can wait for you too. I also have a lot I can do inside but that will also have to wait.

Unmotivated and lack of energy sucks - really need to speak to my pdoc about it this Wednesday when I see her.

What friend disclosed is a past thing - a very big mistake he made under difficult circumstances but had big consequences for someone else and for him. This is where I find my heart and head in opposition. He was being attacked and lashed out and caused some damage to the other person. He has a martial arts background so that made his actions more pronounced. I am finding it hard to deal with as the person I have met is a really gentle, kind hearted guy. I wish I could give more details but I can't here but he has been very open in exactly what happened and didn't try to sugar coat it at all. He also did not make any excuses for his behaviour but certainly has regrets. I suppose a lot of my past with violence is influencing how I am feeling about all this. I am honestly stuck with where my thinking is because what I see is not related to what happened in his past - and it was a long time ago. Head and heart definitely in opposition here CB. Not sure how this would all impact the future but I am in no way scared of him or what he would do - quite the opposite - I feel comfortable with him and at ease. It really is tricky hey!

There was alcohol involved @CheerBear but that in no way excuses any of it. The other person assaulted him first but because of his training he fought back and the consequences were bigger. He plead guilty so took responsibility for what he had done. I give him points for that but still have those mixed feelngs about the whole situation - you can see why I need to talk to him about it more. It really is a very tricky issue for me - I understand the circumstances and how it all happened but not sure I can get past it. I kind of wish he hadn't told me but there are also those feelings that he trusted me enough to be up front as well. I don't want this to be the end of our friendship but this all probably says that that is all it could ever be.