Far and Away

To be honest with you @CheerBear it was very hard to know what you were going through but not from my point of view - from yours. Knowing just how much you were hurting and also knowing there was nothing anyone could say that would make it any better for you. I had my own feels that I was dealing with but have had a lot of 'practice' with those over the years and while it never goes away it does become easier. I think that is like most losses - you learn how to deal with the emotions and feelings that come up in a way that helps you best over the years. Nothing can change this period of your life for you but when you reconcile the decision you made - or in my case the only decision that could be made - you can start to move forward in very small steps. Life is for the living Hon - so rather than dwelling on the maybes embrace what you have.

Sometimes we can't predict where things will go CB and it certainly isn't something that I thought I would bring up here either - but thank you for allowing the space and empathy and listening eyes to do so. I think we can both agree that it is, on accasion, the right time and circumstances to share such things.

I am okay this evening @CheerBear Been one of those days where I have had more thinking to do and haven't really wanted to do that. Visiting my sister was a good distraction and watching cricket and tennis today has also helped. Still have those annoyed feelings but nothing more I can do about those so trying to put them out of my mind - I have enough other stuff to deal with - so letting those who do not think of their own actions on others get to me is not worth any more of my energy.

How is your night going? How is Rocket behaving tonight?

Yes insensitivity is a good word - sometimes others need to make themselves feel better by interferring in the status quo and whilst that may make them seem worthwhile it makes someone else feel worthless. Just the way life is sometimes though @CheerBear

I love that Rocket only has 2 speeds - bonkers and crashed. She must be ruling the house still with her antics. I hope she settles down a bit in the coming weeks but the reality is she may not for a couple of months until she outgrows the kitten stages. She may settle in that time more though.

It is hard when you have tricky with friend - especially when you try so hard not to let that tricky get to you. You are doing so well though at navigating all that - not easy when you are dealing with red flags as well and not knowing exactly where you sit with those.

Heading to bed @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope and others passing through here... can't keep my eyes open much longer, Goodnight everyone

Nighty night @Zoe7 Sleep well.

Didn’t get a peek a boo earlier. Not the greatest day here.

💜🦋

Hi @Faith-and-Hope 💖🌷🌸

@Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear Have been out to the shop and the chemist so that is done for today. I did manage to get dressed to - didn't want to go to the shop in my jammies lol It is very overcast here today and only expecting early 20s so hoping to get some more things done outside. I feel more motivated now that I have been out this morning already so that is a good thing. I may not however have enough energy to do what still needs to be done outside but will do it in small bursts with plenty of rest inbetween as that seems to be working best for me. Most of what I need to do now is moving things around and sorting out as I go so whilst it is not construction work anymore it is still very physical. I will see how I go but honestly not expecting to get it all done today. I also want to mow the lawn before it gets too much longer so a busy day planned here.

I slept for 6 hours again so it is quite evident that the reduction in meds has also decreased the amount I sleep. While I can function on 6 hours at the moment I suspect it won't be enough when I go back to work - but then going back to work may increase my hours of sleep as I will be very tired from working - only time will tell though,

I haven't done anymore painting for a couple of weeks now - being flat and unmotivated hasn't helped. I think once I get the outside things done I will have more time to devote to the painting - at least doing a little at a time. It hasn't helped that I have more stuff stacked in the hallway and dining room from my last visit to the old school - stuff that needs to be sorted and packed away properly with the rest of my school stuff. Hopefully I will know early this week where I will be going this year and can take some of that stuff in to the new school. I am going to call HR on Wednesday if I haven't heard anything on Tuesday - it is getting way too close to going back and I will already be on the back foot - not ideal but there really is nothing I can do about it either.

Toby and Cat are good - Toby is out of the bad books already after his little 'run away' adventure yesterday and Cat slept on my bed again last night. Cat has taken herself to her bed now after her breakfast and we all know Toby is right next to me

Only a week to go and whilst that means I will also be back at work I can't wait for you to be back @Faith-and-Hope This last couple of months has gone relatively quickly but I have missed you every single one of those days - cannot wait to have you back with us. Hope you remaining time there is good for you and you return home safely. So looking forward to hearing all about your time away too

@Former-Member I hope you had a better night than your day yesterday and today is better for you Hon