Alcohol & Personality Changes

@Nikolai,

I have intrusive thoughts, too! I have them quite a bit, although they seem to be under control at the moment. When I suffered very badly from anxiety and panic attacks in the past, a lot of that was to do with intrusive thoughts that absolutely terrified me. I thought I was going completely bonkers!

I wonder if you could post a link to the reading you have been doing on Thought Stopping, if it is on line, that is. I would like to do some reading too.

That's great about your photography hobby. I enjoy photography, too. It's great tool to capture an image and then I can use the image to inspire a painting. (or I can just search on line and use other people's photos as references- which is even easier...)

I have been going through some interesting emotional upheaval... a lot of strange dreams last night including one dream in which I was pursued by an assailant brandishing a pair of scissors. Very scary. I ended up being locked up in an institution in the dream.... everyone thought my assailant was the sane one and that I was disturbed!! So weird. It must mean something.

It's a beautiful day here... I want to get out of my P.J's and go for a walk in the forest before it gets hot. I will try not to drink today. I know it's absolutely for the best if I don't drink.

That's so good, @Nikolai, that you only had one beer. Excellent work.

@Sahara

There is not one particular site that I used, I basically searched it in Google, and read approximately 20 sites on the topic, both Pros and Cons. I think it is important to make an informed decision, and I believed that it could be beneficial for the thoughts I have, and the risks were relatively low for me.

Obviously I can't comment on how it will work long term, but the short term results for me are really promising!

I hope your emotions calm down for you soon.

@Sahara

How did you go yesterday?

@Former-Member

Not sure what happened but your last comment is blank?

Hi @Nikolai,

I had a really good day yesterday. And you? I hope it was another successful day for you!

I walked in the forest, picked some flowers, made the house look pretty.... Spent a bit of time on the forums here and also doing some email for a public art project I'm helping to manage.

I find myself a bit restless, but I know that drinking is not the answer and that I have to tough this out. So much has happened to me in the last year or so... I think I just have a lot to process. My thoughts are running riot a bit.

My Mum died just over a year ago and then my Dad got very sick and has been in hospital a few times. He is hard work for me emotionally because he refuses to be sensible and look after himself. He's coming over on Thursday, so that should be fun!

The other thing that hit me pretty hard is that I got fired from my job by text message about 6 months ago. On top of everything else it took all my confidence away. But by a strange stroke of fortune, I actually don't need to work right now... I am having an extended period of rest. It is like a giant holiday. I don't get bored. ( I always disliked working anyway.)

Then just very recently, I found out by a set of coincedenses, that an old 'friend' from the past is very ill. I haven't seen him in 12 years and I don't suppose I will now. I guess there must be some unresolved emotions I have to come to terms with over all that.

I haven't yet looked at the stuff on Thought Stopping. I might get a chance to do that today...

I'm getting my hair done this morning, so I'm riding my bike into town. It's going to be another beautiful day.

Let me know how you are.

Hi @Sahara

I love being in nature too, it is a wonderful way to escape.

I'm sorry to hear that, it must be a very difficult time for you at the moment, no wonder your thoughts are running, you must have an incredible amount on your mind.

That is incredibly unprofessional! I think that is much more of a reflection on your ex-employer rather than you. Still must have been tough.

How do you feel with your new hairdo?

I am well, I have reduced my stress a lot in the past few weeks by re-shuffling my responsibilities at work. After adding the thought stopping into the mix I am feeling really calm.

Hey @Nikolai, re-shuffling responsibilities is always a good idea. I personally don't care much for responsibilities and so I try to delegate everything as much as possible with the community arts project that I am working on. It's not that I can't do everything... it's just that I don't want to.

I never got any joy out of working like a dog... I know that plenty of people do, but I just never saw the attraction in that life-style, myself.

I actually borrowed a book from the library today detailing one man's personal experience with OCD, which seems to have bit of information about Thought Stopping. It also has heaps of other information about the mind, psychology, different treatments for anxiety and all kinds of interesting research.

The book s called "The Man Who Could'nt Stop". You might like it. it was only published a few years ago so the information is all current.

Thanks, I am happy with the hair-style. The color is radical, for me, but it's good to have a change.

Well, so far I haven't had a drink today! Looks like I've made it through the day.. day 2 of no alcohol.

Hi @Nikolai,

how are you doing? I haven't heard from you for a few days. I sincerely hope you are still on the wagon, but if not, then that's alright; we just do what we can. Every day is a new beginning, as far as I'm concerned.

It's day 4 of no alcohol for me. Yesterday I had an urge to drink at 10.30 in the morning! I resisted. I haven't had a morning drinking urge for a long time.

Today I have my Dad coming over for lunch. I find him very heavy going. Just looking at him drains all the energy from me completely. By my estimation, he will only be here for 4 hours.... thank God. He is stil grieving for my Mum, who passed away, and it just brings me down.

It will be a good test for me... if I can resist having a drink when he goes home then I'll know I'm doing well.

Let me know how you are!

I'm glad you are doing well, @Nikolai.

It went Ok with my Dad... I find him hard to talk to, even though he is a lovely man. We agree on most things... I don't know, but he brings me down just due to his kind of 'defeated' emotional state.

I had a nap when he left and I woke up feeling heavily sedated. It was a strange feeling.

This morning, just now, I had the same experience, feeling very heavy and sleepy. Like I've woken from a coma!!

Anyway, I didn't really have the urge to drink yesterday, which was great.

The morning drink cravings are bad news, aren't they? I used to drink in the mornings when I was severly depressed and not getting any help from the meds that I was taking, at the time.

My worst craving times seem to be either 11 am or else between 4 pm and 5 pm. How about you?

It's good to keep busy, too, isn't it? Hope you have a great day.