Alcohol & Personality Changes

Yes, @Nikolai,

it will be a good chance tonight to try and go without alcohol. Good luck.

That's really great that you practice meditation and yoga. I do yoga and I want to get back into meditating. I believe it will help me with regulating my emotions.

We were going to go to the pub today for lunch but I decided to eat at home instead so I would not be tempted to drink. I doubt I could go to the pub without experiencing a very strong urge to drink wine. They do serve good coffee at our local pub, but it's just not the same, sitting in a pub drinking caffeine!

I really don't know if I could ever go out and see live music without drinking, either. It would feel so weird. There are so many things that I have to get my head around right now.

@Nikolai, there are no medications for DID as such. They tend to meditate the secondary symptoms or conditions like depression, anxiety, sometimes a-p's for PTSD symptoms. The problem for me/us is that each of us has a different set of symptoms and our diagnoses varies dependign on who presents. For a long time, that stopped us getting a proper dx. We've collectively had just about every dx there is. And a medication that helps one of us, will mess with another, in unpredictable ways. So we've reached the conclusion that it's better to just be un-medicated and to try to help those with other struggles in other ways. It's one of the screwed up things about being many. If each of us was single, we could just take a pill and be done with it. (Somewhat of an exaggeration, I know).

Having said that, it's also true for alchohol. It helps some of us but our younger ones have difficulty with it. We should care more about them and moderate it more

@Sahara

Well done on staying home, and I totally agree it's really difficult to be at a pub and not drink alcohol.

I managed to stay sober yesterday, just had lime and soda and then tea.

Thankfully only a few people were drinking, it is a little harder when I am the only one who isn't.

How did you go for the rest of the day?

@Former-Member

I really appreciate the insight you have given me into the condition.

That sounds like it must be so difficult for you. I know how hard it is just for me to find the right medication.

@Nikolai,

thar's so great that you didn't drink! Only a few people drinking last night.... that's great, too.

I feel like everyone is drinking all the time when I am socializing and I find it hard to resist. I might have a warped perception... it might just feel like everyone is drinking, when really it might only be 60% or 80% of people who are drinking... anyway, it makes me feel like I am missing out on something when I don't drink.

I did a little bit of yoga yesterday and also relaxed on my sun-lounge. I had a lot of mixed emotions come up all at once, yesterday. It was confusing. I had a very strong urge to drink in the late afternoon, but I resisted. It was frustrating and I felt very, very tempted. I was thinking about things from the past and I felt conflicted.... It's day 3 of no alcohol for me today.

Then I had a dream about my former friend last night. The friend from 10 years ago... the one who I said didn't forgive me my behavior. In the dream she was very calm and forgiving. She gave me a card and some money (???). I returned the money and said "You don't need to worry about me, I have plenty already." I don't know what it means. At least she was nice to me in the dream.

How are you feeling this morning?

Hi @Former-Member,

I just wanted to say "Hi" and thanks for sharing.

@Sahara

Good on you for resisting, I'm proud of you!

It's strange how these kind of things happen in dreams. I dont dream (well at least I don't remember dreaming) very often at all. It has to be a dream like the one you mentioned about your friend and really stand out for me to remember it.

Perhaps its your mind forgivng you, because your friend never did.

I am feeling really good this morning, just need to remember how great I feel the next day when I have stayed sober, and haven't made a fool of myself.

Hi @Nikolai,

glad to hear you are feeling happy and clear-headed. Me too. A better day for me today, with no confusing emotions emerging so far.

Went for a walk in the forest, did some yoga and mowed the lawn. Took a nap this afternoon - it was a deamless nap.

I think everyone dreams, but it's whether you remember your dreams or not. I often do. I believe they mean something.... it's all to do with symbolism and emotions that go unrecognised during waking hours.

I've booked into a local pub for lunch tomorrow because some friends are coming by.... I hope it goes ok. I really hope I don't drink. I think I will be ok. I have some stuff to attend to in late afternoon, so it would be best not to drink and stay sharp. Easier said than done.

Let's not drink today....

Hi @Sahara,

How did you go yesterday? I didn't drink!

It's only a relatively small achievement but I am happy with staying sober on both Friday and Saturday night.

Let me know how you go today 🙂 Sending good vibes your way.

Hi @Nikolai,

I fell off the wagon today and had two drinks with lunch. It was such a beautiful day and we were at a country pub for lunch, sitting outside under a tree.... I felt intoxicated after one drink, but I had another one anyway....

I can't blame anything but myself. I guess I have to treat it as a learning experience. I had a good morning... it's not like anything in particular was bothering me... it was just too much temptation being at a pub. Our friends only drank soft drink, so there was no social pressure there.

I finished a small painting that I've been working in the afternoon. It looks pretty good. At least making my artwork is one thing that I don't relate to drinking, so it's a 'safe' activity for me.

Congrats on not drinking!! Are you on day 4 of no alcohol now? Great work.

I'm going to make tomorrow a better day. A lot of stuff is going through my head right now.

Hey @Sahara

I fell off the wagon yesterday too, also at a pub.

We went there just to have a beer, which makes it a bit hard to not have one, especially when (as we have previously discussed) there was live music too.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm not.
I stopped at one drink, you stopped at two, and for both of us that's in our 'safe zone' by the seem of it.

And, if anything I think the fact that there was no trigger for you to drink is a good thing. It means you were drinking it just for the enjoyment of drinking it.

That's wonderful, painting must be so relaxing. I am not gifted at all with any artistic skill, so photography is my hobby. I went outside to take some photos yesterday and ended up capturing probably the best photo I have ever taken.

I have actually been doing a bit of reading on Thought Stopping, I know by the seem of it, it is a bit controversial, but I thought it might be helpful for me. I often have intrusive thoughts, sometimes even completely insignificant memories of being embarrassed that have just stuck in my head. I know a lot of big issues need to be dealt with, not suppressed, but I am going to give this a go for the intrusive thoughts and the unnecessary worrying. Hope it works!