Just checking in.

Hi @utopia

Yes, at 42 you think we would of learned something. Your right, change there is unlikely. A bit miserable really. In my mind if we are treating such significant caring people in our lives with so much disrespect - true love and respect won't come our way. That's how I believe it works - your sister has much to learn.

Your mum does have a beautiful, caring daughter in you and that would offer her so much comfort. It's interesting to read that we can be raised the same, but those different choices we make along the way really defines who we are. To respect or not to respect - makes a huge different with inner growth. And your mum would be proud of you.

Arhh your poor neighbour! I am proud of you also, the way you looked out for this poor, vulnerable elderly lady! Thank goodness for neighbours like you! Pity the elderly lady does not put an AVO against the abuser - amazing what some of us put up with from those we love. If it were me he would not get a cent and be out on his ear. I think after all these years of copping disrespect there comes a point where we reach "enough is enough". That's me anyway.

You are so right @utopia I do become exhausted. I do experience a real second wind that kicks in and I do carry on with gusto but at moments like this I feel so hurt and low. Wondering why I bother as she makes me feel like every act of love, support and effort was for nought. Leaving me feeling irrelevant. I couldn't have loved more or tried harder I swear. So I don't think this relationship with her staying here is doing either of us any good in reality. I really hope she is not just all talk but does move. We all need change for the positive and to move on. She did ask if I would visit her when she does move and I would. When she was out of home before she appreciated us more and we were much closer. She uses and abuses us now.

I was glad to read your son was generally uneffected by the yelling neighbour. It sounds like he has good friends as well as a good mum - smart boy making smart choices. He will do well in life. My daughter's downfall was wholly due to the poor choice in friends, lifestyle and partners that she has made over the years - as she rejected the good and sincere ones and our wise advice that sought her welfare, and still does. I can only hope she sees the light here one day before it's too late.

I am so glad you shared your stories about your mum and neighbour - I am sad about what they go through but it does remind me that others out there are also having to endure being treated with disrespect and treated less than they deserve. Puts my own life in perspective. Thank you @utopia - I do like your down to earth personality - open and honest like mine. Warm hugs xx

Couldn't agree more about what you say about bullies - especially the psychologically abusive ones. They like control and enjoy watching their victims being destroyed as it makes them feel a bit better about their pathetic selves. I have seen more than enough of this throughout my life. Now I yearn for goodness, peace and laughter. Don't we all. And I manage to have tastes of it. Just not today unfortunately. Thank you for your care and wishes, means a lot and who knows - the magic of Christmas may sparkle for me this evening 💥.

I love a good book and chocolate also. What are you reading? I have been reading a compilation of short stories by Stephen King and the biography of Padre Pio. Both quite different t genres but they do say variety is the spice of life and I do like the supernatural. Enjoy your books my friend 💕

Its good that you were able to stick up for the old neighbour being bullied. @utopia

I have a weird thing going on at the moment with a young 30 yo neighbour.

When she moved about 9 years ago she told me suffered from bi-polar and I did my all nice and accepting about mental illness thing .. she has bikes coming around and I smell dope once a month .. has a lot of loud music which annoys my son a bit .. but he detached from it .... but she had a few violent sessions with her"friends" out the front in our court and my son and I withdrew .. then she started attacking me about calling the poice .. when I hadnt.

So then I called the police because she was very directly threatening .. they dont come .. I explained I was disabled and frightened.

That was about 4 years ago

There was a cool non-acknowledgement for about 2 years .. she actually forced another neighbour out as they were constantly fighting over cat droppings.

Then she decided that my cats had character and has started being nice to me .. I give minimal reciprocal responses .. not to exacerbate anything but I am walking on eggshells with .. I have seen her pick up a rock and smash a friend's windscreen in full anger ..

so there I have gone and done it again .. attracting a predatory type .. but it is not family .. and I am clear .. she is not my friend .. she is of Polish extraction and I am sure WWII issues are not well integrated in the family .. she has a piano .. and I had encouraged her initally ..

I am lot more careful about being "friendly:

I wish I could be clear about baddies ..

Hi @Former-Member,

Thank you for the Christmas wishes. It was quite relaxing when it was just me and my three boys. Unfortunately with the time zones we didn't get to Skype my eldest. I hope to Skype him tonight.

Im so sorry to hear your daughter has made Christmas Day difficult for you. I really hope she wakes up one day. I'm sure she will. She has been raised in a loving caring family and that counts for a lot. When the chips are down for her she will remember who had her back and where she felt loved. Part of this I know first hand. I have a feral son who I love but he is often out of control. I would not cope living with him, he has been out of home since he was 16. This year he has made lots of effort to connect with me. This means a lot but I don't have to live with the moods or any of the other stuff. I'm pretty sure one day he could end up in a psychs office and be diagnosed with BPD traits too. He is a wild child. So I have hope for your daughter too that one day as time goes on she'll work it all out and you'll see glimpses of the beautiful girl you raised more frequently.

I hope the rest of the day is calmer for you and you find glimpses of peace and joy with hubby.

Sending hugs 💜🤗💐🎄⭐️

Hi @utopia,

Im so sorry to read your day went south too. I would find that really hard too. Good for you standing up especially when it is triggering. That is really braves and honourable. I hope tonight goes better. Glad your son is enjoying his presents. With any luck you'll have a stress free day tomorrow to enjoy reading and eating chocolates. Sending hugs 💜🤗

Hi @utopia @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Former-Member .... 💕

@Former-Member .... good to see you here ..... 🤗🌷💕