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Unknown userMember
I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.
In response to: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
ethSenior Contributor
I feel like I really know what you are feeling @CheerBear One day I was going through old photos and found a batch I thought I had gotten rid of. And when I saw the date on one of them it hit me hard that I had kept going back to him for so long. Every time the cycle was a bit shorter. It took me 4 years to break out of the cycle. And over 8 years to realize that the cycle was his. And at some point it will repeat. And all we can do is get away from it when we are able to. A narcissistic psychopath will never acknowledge in their heart that what they've done is so wrong. Sometimes they won't even remember the details. Sometimes they 'gaslight' us repeatedly, conditioning us to believe we caused it. WE DID NOT!!
As I said I think you're amazing the way you can be truly present for your littles in the midst of the storms. And you did get away. And probably most of what you saw last night is just acting to create false impressions. The narcissist is obsessed with their own image and it has very little bearing on reality.
Take care, be gentle with yourself today. Talk to me as much as you like. xxEth
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
I don’t have much @CheerBear . I think it sucks quite honestly. I would be angry if I was in your shoes and I know it would have twisted me in so many ways. I think it is ok to feel these things and you probably need to. This world is not fair. Often good people suffer while not so good people thrive. It happens in so many ways so often. Once this anger and pain passes you will rise again. It’s so not fair. I’m thinking maybe not trying to be happy but throwing some plates or something symbolic to release some that anger might be ok too. (I don’t often suggest smashing things 😘).
I do however, believe in karma. Karma can happen when least expected. For me personally it took about 15 yrs before karma showed up at my ex husbands door.
Youll get through this and know that you’ve done the hard work. You have grown in so many ways through this, that is living, that is being in the arena, that is being brave. He can never take from you again and once you get over the anger you’ll not let him get to you again. I totally understand the suckiness of this. Be kind to you. I still see this
💜🤗
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
@CheerBear .... here is my 2c worth .....
What you saw is a fake over-writing of his past ..... he has created a realistic looking block-out that stars him as something he is not .... buyer beware ..... anyone who is sucked in by that is in danger of meeting the man behind the mask at some point in their future. And in fact he may have wanted you to see it as a twisted form of “U.Yrs. So there !!”.
Now you have seen it, use the opportunity to have a rage about it ✅ ..... to grieve some more of the loss and damage ✅ ..... but don’t be sucked in by it ..... don’t buy the lie that all is well in Paradise .....
Don’t get me wrong. I have every belief in some people turning over a new leaf and finding successful relationships in their life - but it doesn’t happen by magic. It takes intervention, therapy, confession and apology (if these things are even possible) and a whole lot of rebuilding that I am guessing hasn’t happened at all.
Go you that you escaped it and shoved it out of your life ..... slam shut that window you opened last night, and try not to beat yourself up for it. I would probably have done the same thing, and a show of hands here from others would probably tell you they would have too.
Hugs n hugs n hugs n hugs ..... do something good for yourself today, and remind yourself about how strong and resilient you are, and how worthy the fish are of the new life you are providing them.
❤️❤️❤️
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
I’m also having so many weird and wonderful things going on and feeling a bit low/slow/ paralysed. I woke up this morning from a dream where I was so mentally unwell I needed to be in hospital because I wasn’t strong enough to get through all this. I dreamt that I missed my surgery appointment tomorrow. I dreamt about my ex. It all felt so real when I woke up. I’m now paranoid that I’ll miss it tomorrow :face_with_rolling_eyes:😏
I am so confused and can’t stop trying to work out what is real and fair and ok. There are lots of things I wish I could share here but I can’t. I’m also going through a big change of diagnosis which I’m trying to find a box for but it keeps creeping up. The only reason it is important just now is for the legal stuff. It’s not one just for the legal stuff but one possibly closer to what is real? I feel like I need time to work through that but can’t just yet. It’s not that far from my current one but enough to make me feel differently about it. Just having a bit of a whinge and self pity party. Well that’s my whinge. I have a very scary thing in front of me that I have to write but have procrastinated to whinge. Last night bro and i did lots of things towards it. Today he leaves 😔. Ok circular teej rant that feels never ending now, I am so scatterbrained and won’t be much use to anyone I think for a few days.😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:🤨. For now how about 'that’s all, folks' 💜🤗😘
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
@CheerBear 💜💐💕
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
I’m just wondering if anyone was around to discuss with me a values based issue. I don’t want to name it but more discuss ways to resolve it.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
Does that mean you are around @CheerBear ? How are you going? Have you hit banana brain yet? Maybe that is my problem.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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