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Unknown userMember
I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.
In response to: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
Hey @CheerBear , @Faith-and-Hope . I’m pretty sure I can understand.
@CheerBear hot headed fire balls show the deep passion you have within. It is a strength and a struggle. You know I believe in you to change the world but I also know you can’t change all of it. There will be things that don’t work out. Sometimes our all isn’t enough to change something we feel is unjust. It is easy to look back at something and wish that you had done more. Sometimes lack of experience dictates what we did at the time and sometimes circumstances do. Neither is an indictable offence😜😘. I think that may have been the case in what you may be describing. Like you I am learning about how to accept things that I feel passionate about but feel powerless over. Trust me, this was a module in DBT that I was a pain in the backside for, I had so many questions, endless questions that put the facilitators through their paces and probably had the group doing lots of these :face_with_rolling_eyes:. I couldn’t understand but eventually I found a space to understand this a bit better. Sometimes we are powerless. Sometimes it’s a matter of staying and chipping away at things over time for us to feel some success. Sometimes it needs to be let go for your sanity. Don’t ask me when the sometimes is though as I haven’t got that far 😜. I guess one of my guiding lights through this has been Brené Brown. I am only just (so very recently just) been working through this stuff too. That you are working through it now will pave the way to make this process a little easier in the future. With all that you have on your plate I just wanted to add the 'the thirties' pretty much suck as a woman for lots of reasons. It will get a little easier as life experiences create more wisdom. Never lose that passion and desire to change the world. Bit by bit you will. 💜🤗
Yep I did have a crazy wild dream last night, well this morning to be precise. It was a bloomin circus of a dream. I’m trusting that this process is the right one even if I don’t feel it. I did something that I never do last night. I messaged my friend (long time friend) who must have been asleep. This morning I woke to a message starting off by saying 'STOP worrying' and ended with 'now BEHAVE' which made me smile and feel calmer.
Love and and hugs to @Faith-and-Hope calmness and wisdom that has rubbed off all across the forum 💜🤗😘
hi to all passing through.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
🤗💕💜 @CheerBear @Teej ...... sometimes hot-headed fireball is just the ticket that is needed in a situation, and I had to learn to develop more of my hot-headed fireball side, believe it or not, in my early married life, when I realised what I was up against in the wider circles ...... just didn’t anticipate that my other half would trip over and fall head-long into his hot-headed-fireball-bit-in-the-teeth-cyclone side ..... but if I could ever have seen that that was in my future, maybe a delightful posse of mostly hot-headed (or cool-headed) fireball baby dragons would not be in existence in my life either ......
It takes a bit of all of it (all of us) to make a whole ......
Hugs n hugs.
Post counselling appointment here ..... and the coffee shop I wanted to go to is inaccessible owing to a gas leak ...... bummer. Uniformed police and fire trucks everywhere here, so can’t get to my secret garden today. Have to go find another one I guess.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
Yes @CheerBear . I too learned that acceptance isn’t approval, the long hard tedious way too.
In answer to your question there is good and bad in all decades. Most women find a much greater sense of security and self in their forties. The thirties tends to be a time of feeling insecure and lots of comparison. That drops off a bit in your forties as a rule. Having said that I was still living my teens, 20s and 30s in my 40s 😆. There was a sense of more security though. I think raising young children or career making in your thirties creates the insecurities and sense of being on edge more. I think it’s a decade where you think you have to have reached many milestones. They are society milestones not indivual ones but still create some stress and anxiety. This is my take on it all although I’ve read it a bit too.
I think the 50s is more relaxed in that you know you don’t know everything and never will and that’s ok.
Hoping your our day goes ok too. Heading off the forum for a bit. 💜🤗
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
How is the counselling going @Faith-and-Hope . So much for me getting off the forum :face_with_rolling_eyes:. Sounds a bit hectic where you are.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Counselling is coming along @Teej . There is a lot to tell ..... (understatement of the year there) ..... and there is now another counsellor worried about me and the pressures and strains I am under ..... 😏. It’s quite validating to hear responses that support me as who I am in the midst of it all. There is questioning about choices I make and how I feel about them, and acknowledgement of the chameleonness that you know so well, and how we can get a bit lost in that because we are not only feeling for ourselves, but for everyone else within a 2km range as well ....., or sometimes it’s just the 2km range and we forget to feel for ourselves ......
Anyway, it’s going to be weekly for some time yet .....
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
I’m really glad that you are getting that support and a chance to work through things @Faith-and-Hope and that it seems like you’ve found someone that is a good fit. I think I am so much better when I don’t have anyone in a 2km radius to absorb stuff. With the biggest kids gone I am much more relaxed in a way. I miss them for company but I’m definitely not missing that drama that I would take on. The hardest bit is I know this is not how I can live. I have to get to volunteering and then hopefully work which will be another whole world to absorb stuff :face_with_rolling_eyes:😳. It’s ok though. Just trying that one step at a time thing.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
That’s the way @Teej ..... and it’s what I am doing too.
👍💜💕
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
And @CheerBear, thank you so much for sharing that my way has helped you. Waking along with you had helped me no-end too. I love an appreciate how much my Mr. was (seemingly) similar in nature to you, pre-flip. I felt we complimented each other’s nature in terms of how different we were in the way that we weren’t the same, because there was a lot of sameness there too. Traits all have their positive and negative presentations, and can, and do, slide between them. The problem here for us now is the polarisation of some of the traits, and a channeling into seriously dysfunctional coping methods. Whole different ball game, but you remind me lots of the version of him I have currently lost, and I love that about you.
The sameness adds a kindred spirit vibe, and the different ess adds dynamic.
💜💐
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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