Just checking in.

Hi @Former-Member @utopia

Yeah .... I shoulda gone to bed by now .... 😏

@Former-Member I am happy to be corrected by @Kurra if I'm wrong, but I think she wants to take this disappointment "on the chin" as it were .... accepting in the moment that it is not what she wanted, but anticipating that she can still make the most of the time she has left in this position, right to the last minute.

That can also be tempered with the thought that whatever replaces this, as special as it was, may be just as special, if not more so ....

Its dealing in hope, and faith that things will be okay at the nod of the day if you keep working towards it being okay .... and that means hurdling obstacles in your path along the way.

It can also be about emotional privacy - not wanting to share how you are feeling deep down with people who are not part of your intimate circle, and holding out with a privacy screen in place till you can "spill" about it.

There may also be a strong need for discretion in @Kurra's work place, and showing attitude re disappointments might inhibit her future options.

Just wanna add in here that I'm not very good at holding that stiff upper lip if I am feeling disappointed, even if I'm travelling with hope and faith that it will be okay at the end of the day .... I'm real leaky in fact .... :face_with_rolling_eyes: ... makes me a sitting duck for teen-dragon teasing I can tell you .... ❣

They are my thoughts ... just wanted to share in case @Kurra and @Former-Member are not available for a while. Hope it helps.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

you explained it well. Yes me too with the kids. They know which buttons cause what reactions and have played games with me over the years 😳. I'm sorry I'm really hit and miss on the forum. I've lost my footing a bit but not got caught in the vortex yet. Saw my ex yesterday in a really kind of messy situation and has thrown me into all sorts of thought/heart chaos. How are you going?

Hi @Former-Member

how are you? My spidy senses think things are ok today. Am I right?

I can't talk for @Kurra but from my perspective, setting your expectations for the day can actually change how you feel. That doesn't mean that you don't allow yourself time to react to bad news, grieve for losses, get angry etc, but there comes a time when you need to put that aside and get on with your business for the day.

I know that for some that ability to put aside their emotional reactions is particularly hard. But in a professional role you have to do that. Take us in the Help Centre, we can't be full of our own pain and losses if we want to be useful to others. We need to feel and process them but we try to allow that to happen in our own time or at appropriate times during the day, like talking colleague over lunch or working through the problem in supervision. We're not robots though so there will be days when it's harder to do that.

It seems like Kurra is being resilient and trying to carve out some positive moments during a difficult time. If she's expressed herself at work maybe she's done all she can to change the outcome. So hanging out there today with a face like a thunderstorm won't actually make her feel better or help to create a better outcome.

But that's just my take. I'd be interested to hear Kurra's when she's back home and how the day panned out.

Thanks @Former-Member

even if @Kurra does have a different version (which I somehow think will be along those lines) it was really helpful to read yours and @Faith-and-Hope. Cheers 😊

that makes a lot of sense @Former-Member especially in a more general way outside of @Kurra s individual situation. Wish had you in my backpocket on a few jobs where I did the 'long face' thing which became the start of the slippery path to letting self out the door.. it was a very considered and thoughtful reply

I'm good @Former-Member .... 😊

Bit tired, and am gonna have to be a bit more disciplined about getting more sleep, but it's the result of being productive rather than stressed, so I give myself a bit more latitude ....

WH is running on empty - no real surprise there - so firing off, but trying to catch himself quickly and do a reset .... within the scope of this illness, he really is being quite amazing ... npbut then he is a pen amazing person underneath all the cr@p ... it's nice to be witnessing that sort of confirmation that he is trying to apply his values, even though he is missing the bigger mark ....

Hope that makes sense ...

Sorry to hear you had a cr@p moment with your ex, but you appear to be hurdling it really well ... good job you ❣. Lay it down in the dust and step over it if you can .... then leave it behind you and move on. That's my visual in these sort of circumstances anyway.

Gonna say goodnight (again 😊) now and catch y'all tomorrow. WH has taken the couch - which is how come I'm posting freely at this time of night - cos he really isn't sleeping well and at least by himself he seems to be getting more 💤💤💤. Otherwise any small noise is disturbing him. He's being apologetic about it, but it's the pragmatic side of his nature coming to the fore. Hard to watch him burning out tho ... but can't do anything about it, so just trying to support him in the small ways.

'Nuff of that .... G'night ❤️💕

Goodnight @Faith-and-Hope,

it seems like things are on some kind of doable ground at the moment. I hope they stay that way. Sleep well. Sending hugs💜🤗

Hmmmm maybe I can work on a back-pocket version of myself @TAB!

@Former-Member what if you try to set an expectation for today? Book some time later in the day to retreat and feel but do your best to put aside the confusing thoughts and feelings until then. And in between have a mission - maybe get a job crossed off a list and do something fun with whoever is around. Make that your focus and try to bring your thoughts back to what's actually happening right now.

When the confusion rises up again, acknowledge it but tell it that you'll get back to it later. It's a bit like the tides, there's a right time for it to come rolling in but we need the beach clear and available during the day.

Make any sense @Former-Member?

Edited to say - just noticed that you have a full day planned Teej. So the mission is sorted - it's just sharpening your focus so that it stays on what's actually happening and maybe throwing in the intention to get it done and enjoy some moments along the way. Or whatever you would like it to be.