Just checking in.

You know I try not to use my mh stuff as excuses @CheerBear (although there was a time when I did) but if the behaviour stuff that’s been here a lifetime with maybe some brain wired stuff I think I’m beginning to see how building that new life seems somewhat impossible just now. It it feels like a very big wall (bigger than Trumps 😜:face_with_rolling_eyes:) is up in front of me. I’ll work it out.

I think there is some hangover stuff from my psych appointment that im mad at myself for. I didn’t follow up something I should have and now it’s going round and round in my brain. She wasn’t phased by my increase meds and was supportive of it and of giving up hrt. We had lots of curly stuff which went ok but it’s still on high rotation in my head 😳😬.

That does sound busy @CheerBear . I’m thinking the holidays might go fast though this time for you having it broken up into parts. I’m thinking that you’ll be ready for some you time when they are back at school.....although with a few new roles maybe a bit busier 😄.

Regardless of what it is @CheerBear , those scary conversations are hard to have because it makes us so vulnerable and I guess once it’s out it can’t be retracted. I’m beginning to do more of getting the tricky stuff out but it’s not easy. I cheated and went half way there on Tuesday 😉. Maybe tomorrow is a good day for it because you have some support to take the pressure off you after.

And you know im now here to hassle you to do it 😘.

My moments of self frustration came because cause I wrote some honest things down and when my brain is a bit scattered I usually give her what I’ve written and she reads it and might pick something out. On Tuesday there were lots of expressive 'oh' noises and I chickened out of asking her what she was reacting to and why. I have lots of really messy brain and behaviour stuff that's not trauma related and it brings so much shame but it is helping to get some of it out and discussed in the open. I think I’m frustrated at how slow this is all going to be.

I know stuff is going on and you have big big stuff going on but are managing to achieve some personal goals too. I think I need to find some big girl pants so I can try to do more than one thing at a time, not as in multitasking as such but my brain hones in on a problem and nothing else matters while that problem is there.

I hope you get to talk about it tomorrow because from what I know of you it will be better out than in.....And just quietly I had a control issue for a while, I think it comes a bit from solo parenting school age kids. It might be way different from what you are experiencing but I’m glad mine isn’t there like it was.

Hiya @Sans911

feel free to jump in to this conversation too if you wish😄

and I’ve seen @Faith-and-Hope floating by

👋🏻💜👋🏻💜

So sorry for my really messily worded posts. I think anyone reading them needs an interpreter to read them in English. I’m afraid I’ve reverted back to my native language of jibberish 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:😜

Hiya @Teej @CheerBear @Zoe7 and anyone else around 👋💕

Still have lots of homework of an evening, and big dragon flying in tonight so I want to go to bed ahead of pumpkin coach and tattered dress hour ..... but buzzing around in the background here nonetheless, every time I come up for air.

Not sure my counsellor knows what to do with me ...... but she is clearly gobsmacked about what I am / have been up against .....

I guess it’s all looking a bit like this ..... ⁉️😳

Oh dear @Faith-and-Hope I’m glad you’ve found someone to talk to and has your back with it. It’s probably like a new language for her too 😜😘

am I right in thinking you have a small uni break coming up?