Just checking in.

It sounds like you will have some lovely times with all the crew together @CheerBear

I can imagine Rocket running nuts around the home annoying Mouse and Noodle while you are away - bet she rules the house and being still a kitten full of energy.

They do grow suoer fast - snd time with them goes quickly. I was just telling my sister yesterday that I have had Toby for over 5 years - it just seemed like lst year that he ws a puppy.

Have a great time with everyone together Hon - and yes it is enough for you all to just be around

Just checking in

hmmm mood is a bit nuts and shouldn’t be but oh well. Not sure if it’s a hormone fall out because I stopped hrt but it shouldn’t affect me because of the point I dropped off at. I had a really hard day yesterday, ended up with SI and wanted to turn it off.....I just realised as I’m typing this it was my last birthday in birthday season. I didn’t get to see him on the day when you turn 19 and your birthday is on a weekend you have to see mates and a gf :face_with_rolling_eyes:, but in all honesty I’d rather he do that at this age. He spent it with his mates that his had since he was 5 at his old town. I’m actually kind of proud that he still has them as for a while he drifted away. In this ones case growing up in a small town was a gift.

Maybe thats the bonkers and it was subconscious as I always have had to hold on so tightly through their birthdays for fear of ending it on their birthday as I came close quite a few times. Yay for the end of birthday season. One day birthdays might return to 'normal' but for now birthdays are still messy.

Today I am car free and feel so naked :face_with_rolling_eyes:. It feels like something is missing. One of mine had to take it for work today. I think it will be strange when all this mum stuff goes. I was ready for lots of it but definitely not all of it.

@Appleblossom Lovely to see you around.

@CheerBear Not sure if we are interchangeable on another thread 😜😘. I hope things are not too bonkers in the house of many.

Interchangeable @CheerBear . Just wondering if you read a post tagged to you this morning that might not have been relevant. I have a feeling it was for me and had a giggle at that.

Im feeling the big scared feelings now. I just got a phone call from my group. Tomorrow is my last session and I’m being booted from those groups as I’ve done most of them and they think it is time to move on. I can see why this is the way it is but I’m so not ready. It’s been such a grounding thing for me. It’s also often the only interaction I have with others during the week when kids are away. Kids are away house sitting for 10 weeks from early May.

Settlement stuff is messy. I just got the call today about collecting my bank statements which my brother wants. I’m still so confused and twisted about giving my ex a heads up. I know this sounds weird to the outside world, and supposedly I don’t owe him anything, but I am struggling with the fact that this will hurt him tremendously, probably more so than anything could now. When we were together he always said that he’d have to be taken from that property in a box :coffin: . I guess I have some fears that he will. I try not to because I know it’s unhealthy but there is still some love there for him, the person I knew and loved. I also know deep down that he never would have done anything to purposely hurt me and up until now still wouldn’t. I can’t live with what he did and it changed mine and others lives forever so it always feels so messed up.

sorry for rambling. Glad you are having a gentle, if somewhat loopy with kids and animals, day. It sounds well needed.

Not really all of a sudden for group @CheerBear but for me reality hit in that tomorrow is my last day and I thought I’d have something to fill that void now with something purposeful like volunteering. With the legal stuff, kids going and knowing I have an impending surgery I’m not sure that trying to start something new is wise for me. I also don’t know how long or what operation yet. I’m not keen on starting something that I have to stop for weeks. My GP hoped that it would all be done within the next three months but I also know that’s not always possible. She managed the impossible with my last surgery but different times and different hospitals.

My fixit brain worked like yours already 😄. The first hint of mh issues from my ex I told my brother to include some support services and tell him he hoped he had support for his mh which he did in an email. It sounded proactive when I did it and my brother knows to be aware of it. But feelings and logic suck with me at a huge level. I feel like I’m letting him down. My brother doesn’t want me to have contact with my ex in case he starts the emotional stuff with me knowing I could get sucked in and under with it. I struggle immensely to do something that may hurt someone. It’s possibly not a helpful trait but it’s been with me for a long time now. The feeling underneath is really strong. I’m going to talk to my psych about it tomorrow.

hi @CheerBear hi @Teej hope you don't mind me chiming in on your thread here.

Teej I am about to go on the pill for medical reasons and my gp said it would play havoc with my moods and my psychiatrist said it might even out my moods. So yeah, hormones effect mood. No doubt.

I am single so can't imagine your ex situation but it always pays to be sensible when it comes to real estate and money. You don't want to be homeless so bottom line it is best you protect your assets. And your future.

I have no contact with my ex but I have contact with my very mentally unwell brother. He takes a big toll on me. He was recently admitted involuntarily to the psych ward overseas. It was phonecalls only - no visits 'cos he was overseas - and that alone was exhausting and very tirggery. We have supported him so much for the last 12 months and he is one of my best friends but boy is he self-destructive, negative, paranoid and hard to be in contact with. You gotta look after yourself. I got to the point where I needed a break from him and my sister did too. So it is sensible, self-care even, to put yourself first and not have contact with someone you love who is very unwell.

I live alone and was very socially isolated for 7 years (no contact with any family for 10 years) due to my mental illness. So I sympathise with the fear of ending a group, no kids around and potentially being isolated. I hope it helps to know that if I could make new friends then anyone can. I am the most shy, anxious, disturbed & troubled, isolated individual that I know. But I forced myself out there into the social world and went over and over again to meetups, meeting new person after new person. It was so stressful, I was doing it even before I was on good meds. I even got hassled by sleazy, no-good guys which inflamed my psychotic symptoms. But I kept at it in earnest & kept trying to make connections with people I really liked. And 2 years later I have several circles of friends who I like and an active social life. Socialising makes me feel better, gives me purpose and meaning and fills in my time so things don't get too intense and dependent with my sister.

If I can do it anyone can do it. I hope it helps to know you are not alone.

I'm pretty excited and wanted to share (and right now there's a bit of ouch happening here with two others and I can't share just yet) - I got the volunteering gig! There's a bit to go before I get to do any actual volunteering and a lot to work out on my end, but this is a huge opportunity and a really big step so I'll do everything I can to take it. It's somewhere I seriously value, doing something I'm so passionate about and I can't wait to start.

Feeling kind of proud 😊😁