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Recovery Club

Just checking in.

Just checking in.

I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.

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In response to: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Just checking in as I'm feeling a bit feely. Good feels though (for a change 😉).

I made it through to the next stage of the application process for the volunteering gig. I'm super happy and feeling proud of myself for trying. Even if I don't make it, it's already been great experience. Something else possibly came up too in that I was encouraged by the principal and vice principal to run for school council president. I'm not sure I have the confidence to do it as there are a few big things happening at the school which would involve meeting with (sort of) important people, letter writing and probably a couple of public speaking things. Either way it felt good to be encouraged to give it a go. I'll think about it and maybe get my brave on.

I had a funny night last night, thinking about 'stuff', mostly my friend and how I'm feeling now we're not a thing anymore. Probably for the first time since it happened I feel completely at ease with the decision I made about the pregnancy. I think that us spending time with each other was driving a lot of guilt, remorse and sadness for me. Whether it was intentional or not he played on that at times and as hard as it is for me to admit, I feel like I was often trying to make it up to him in a way. The space between us for me to think and to separate myself from his stuff, was overdue. During my thinking I went over all of the things I want to do and how so many of them could have been compromised by having another baby especially with another wrong for me person. Last night I realised and really felt there was nothing to make up for. I know and now feel I did nothing wrong when I made that decision.

Having that realisation felt like my heart has finally caught up with my brain. It felt really good 🙂

With that I'm off to do some fun stuff today. Hope there's good in the day for anyone who might be reading.

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

That’s just awesome to read @CheerBear ....all of it seems like huge steps for mankind type ones 😘.

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Awesome to read about new counsellor @Faith-and-Hope . I hope they help you keep your farm calm, cos mr stormy seems to be trying to keep up with climate change 😱:face_with_rolling_eyes:💜🤗😘

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

I am sure he is quite unsettled that I am going to a new counsellor @Teej, knowing full well that what I will be chatting to her about includes him and how I feel about his “lifestyle”, and what I perceive to be the impact of that on the rest of us. It’s everything he wants to remain under the carpet where he feels he has swept it to, and he is probably unsure whether or how much this will impact on him.

I imagine, just by the fact that he feels the need to hide some of his behaviours and stand guard over them, that somewhere in his psyche he understands that not al is well with him, and may fear being “outed” too.

It’s something else he can’t control, and yeah .... that seems to unleash emotional tornados......

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Just checking in.

I am really tired and so slow and finding it hard to be here on the forum atthe moment. I don’t seem to have much to give as it seems all my energy is being taken up trying to put one foot in front of the other (which feels pretty heavy and all consuming 😖) . Just giving a heads up that I’m really hit and miss currently.

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Whenever and however you can be here is enough @Teej Sending you love and hugs and hoping you can find a little peace in your world 💜💙💚🧡💛

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

good night @Teej , @CheerBear , @eth , @Zoe7 , @Faith-and-Hope , sooo tired and exhaughted xxx

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Goodnight @Shaz51. I'm not surprised you so exhausted. You've had an awful lot going on lately

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Goodnight @Shaz51 💕💤

In response to: Re: Just checking in.

Re: Just checking in.

Aye Aye

@Sans911

@Faith-and-Hope

@Shaz51

Good night from me too.

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