Just checking in.

Huge amount of these for both of you @Teej @CheerBear

Sucky days just suck and you are both trying your best to deal with all that life throws you. I know it is hard to keep swimming when you feel like you are going under but you both have the strength and courage to do just that. Hoping tomorrow is a better day for you both 🌹🌷🌸🌺💐

I think I’m with the overwhelm but mine manifests itself so differently @CheerBear, maybe the effect is the same in the end though. The ultimate fear is the Centrelink stuff. I’m supposed to pick up my report from the psychiatrist tomorrow if it’s there.

There are a lot of other things that have crept up that I’m not ready for as well. Some family stuff as well.

*Edited woe is me stuff 🤬

I hope the NDIS stuff works out well tomorrow. It bl**dy better! Seriously they are causing so much more harm than good still with all the admin messing around and creating stress where there should be support. :face_with_rolling_eyes:on my soap box now!

Sorry youve had the not so helpful, stating the obvious, comments from those close. You are doing so well to hold together but I can imagine that 'tired beyond tired' and loopy head stuff constantly feeling overwhelming and like the volcano could erupt at any time. You’ve had more big first hurdles to jump in the last week again with fishes.

Thanks @Zoe7 . I half made you an image on sat and Sunday to wish you good luck this morning but my mixed up head kept stopping me from finishing it......maybe by next Monday I’ll have it done 🤦‍♀️🤞🏻💜

Your presence is enough @Teej

I really wanted to reply to this last night but my going didn't stop until I crashed again @Teej. I woke up in a pool of sweat feeling like I was drowning. Today is a special day and I needed to get it right. I have lots of guilty and sad feelings and put silly amounts of stress on myself trying to make up for things (the big bang being the number one thing). Mum guilt sucks. It (the big bang guilt) is part of why I drive myself to breaking point with that (fishy) crew.

This would have been my reply last night - My head was absolutely mashed during the process you're going through at the moment. It pushed me so much and a big part of that was this kind of stuff - the diagnosis/letter stuff. I struggled to see my life from the perspective of the people I rely on to believe in me and to trust that I can recover. I haaaated all of it. I'm really feeling with and for you at the moment.

I also feel frustrated about some of the ways your psych (wrote therapist to start but meant psych!) has done things. My head would have been done in, in the way yours has been and I too would have spun out of control with the uncertainty of things. I think that the question she asked you would have festered inside me and led me to all kinds of questions about myself (though I probably would have fired off "what kind of question is that?!" and turned that right back on her at the time too). I love the phrase "nothing about me without me" and only go OK with people who are OK with that too. I go so batty around uncertainty and feeling out of control that my psych emailed draft letters for me to check over and make changes to so I could know exactly what was going on and have some kind of feeling like I was in control. I dont think there's anything wrong with feeling jumbled (and then some) in the way you are at the moment.

I remember going through this process wondering how I was ever going to 'get better' if those things are wrong with me. I also remember asking myself whether there really is anything wrong with me too, even with pages saying there is plenty wrong. To be sitting in the place of uncertainty you are with psych would make that go next level. I think it would even impact me here too. I like the line under the Lived Experience heading that says "or related mental health issues". I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure you fit in here, just as I do and just as about a bazillionty people who struggle with mental health issues even though there is nothing wrong with that or them. (Anyway, even if there is nothing wrong with you this process will make sure there is by the end of it 😉). Seriously though, it hit me in all of the ways and I felt off the charts bonkers and like a fraud at the same time, creating chaos inside. Again, I am with you with the bananas you're going through. It isn't fair that it does this kind of damage inside.

I'm sorry to hear there is other family stuff happening too. Life sucks with the amount of buses that go flying around knocking people over 😏

* The very short version of the very long version above is that I am sorry you have to going through this. If there is anything wrong with anything it is with this process. With you and here for you with it all *

I'm semi losing the plot over the NDIS stuff and hoping so much we can get somewhere today. This is another process that can do damage. It is stressful and to people like us who really really really don't do stress well, it's not OK. It is also gappy and has left me in a dodgy position. I feel ultra frustrated by it all and I start losing my ability to communicate with people (like the one I am meeting with today) when I feel as frustrated as I do. I worry that my fireball words will explode so I shut up and don't say much of anything/sometimes say nothing at all. This kind of meeting is the type of thing that I need the kind of support with that the NDIS took, which is ridiculous. (There's a bit of an early morning vent from me).

Fingers crossed for us both today. If you feel up to sharing how the letter picking up went, I'm interested in hearing.

Mega hugs ❤

Thank you, just thank you so much @CheerBear for that response. 💜🤗

im hoping that the appointment went ok and would love to hear regardless of it was good, bad or ugly. Who said I’m black and white, there are three shades :face_with_rolling_eyes:.

i really want to respond properly to your post but I have group this morning and I’m trying to psych myself up to go.

Last night when when I posted on worry room the emojis it’s usually a sign that I have or am about to switch off in an unhealthy way. In a first there was no alcohol involved and only my meds as prescribed. I was a good girl 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:, one worthy of wearing big girl pants 😆

🤗💜🌷👍 @Teej ..... 😘

Just checking in @CheerBear , @Faith-and-Hope , @Sans911 and anyone else reading.

Some kind of human has returned. A very lost and confused human but someone who resembles a human. I have an appointment with therapist soon and feel kind of blank.

How are you all going? Would love a check in from anyone who wants to.

Thank you so much for responding @CheerBear. I was partly being selfish with that post because I needed to feel connected to ground me a bit. And ground you did with a huge smile and 'I’m so thrilled for you' thoughts. Love the fish story. Yep that’s me too.

Its sounds like lots of goals are lining lining up for you @CheerBear . Well done you! I think that is awesome to read that you are looking into uni and there may be a way through this for you. I’ll be

for you.

So great to here the ndis is finally helping you and @eth to achieve some goals. I have loved reading your achievements @eth when I’ve not been in crisis mode.

I think what would help me the most is to not have to deal with Centrelink at the moment so I could focus on my goals and ironically not need Centrelink because I’ll have a job at some point. I have it all going down next week. 😩. I don’t know what will happen but it feels so huge still and like I can’t breathe. I will try to stay calm though until it happens. Try being the operative word :face_with_rolling_eyes: