Just checking in.

Dear @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope and esp. your beautiful heart wrenching message: @utopia

I cannot find the message of @Faith-and-Hope, I might have read it before though.......

After reading your message a couple of times @Zoe7 I feel that this is her with abandonment issues.....and she may come back....looking for you for a care to her.

we can intellectualise about it until next season..... but we care too busy breathing like @Faith-and-Hope writes....

And also @Zoe7 you may write: And I think I got very lucky in finding my GP and Psych who are so supportive (but that is also their job).

Well, you are wrong actually. They don't need to. They can take your money and not do a good job. I know. I've got friends who do a bad job on some clients, so do you, so does everyone here.

We all have stories here. I just deleted a story of my husband seeing a Psychiatrist and he ended up in jail.............we had only been married for 3 months.

6 years ago I went to see a PSychiatrist, she spent the amount of 10 minutes with me. I turned up with some of my artwork and she said, oh your fine. You are fine and dismissed me. The next week, I didnt turn up and she rang me and asked me why and I said to her on the phone...." After seeing me for 10 minutes, do you rhink I brought my artwork so your would like me ?? She freaked and I Never saw her again. I saw another Gp too.

Care to you from PeppiPatti

I'm sorry @utopia I am just not thinking well enough to tag people in rather than just respond to individual posts! @Faith-and-Hope

I'm not so certain she will be back one day - and that makes me really sad for her as well as me. As I said before - I'm used to feeling empty and alone and it is quite a safe place for me. No developing friendship has ever made me feel so comfortable being me and so open without any judgement - and so scared about it also - but I definitely have felt all along that any reservations or difficulties were worth it for how it was changing my persepective and the happiness it was giving me.

That also makes me feel incredibly sad because I feel I have lost something incredibly special - something I have never had in my life before - and I don't believe I will ever find again. And before you say I will - I know that I will never put myself in this position again - this has just about completely broken me!!

@utopia@Zoe7 💕🌹xx

@utopia@Zoe7

It really cuts me to the core reading how you both are hurting. I feel bad @utopia if any of my past posts were somewhat insensitive towards your friend you speak that unfriended you on Facebook. I do tend to be protective of friends, as I am with myself, and feel upset when's others hurt them. So I am a little bias in that regard. My concern was for you. It humbles me that you are so selfless towards the welfare of your friend. I tend to emotionally detach when others show no interest in my welfare because I have been badly hurt and damaged in the past. And it works for me. Has made me stronger. It is true, you know him better. We can only judge on the information - on the surface.

I am protective with my heart because of what Zoe is going through. I have also been very badly hurt in the past. But strangely enough I am more open with people now than ever. This is because even though I am myself with people, offering support and friendship - I will never open my heart to them until I am sure about their character and when I am sure I am not going to be used and abused. Any close bond I have now has to be nurtured over time with give and take. So I am more open than ever knowing that I am protected this way from being hurt. It's a self preservation safeguard and it works for me. I am happier.

This doesn't mean I dont care for others - I just don't let them in easily. I still enjoy their company and grow from it but trust has to be earned before I open my heart.

@Zoe7 - I never say anything I don't mean. Anyone who would reject your friendship has rocks in their heads. Personally I feel the worse part for you and @utopia is the "not knowing why". Then we automatically blame ourselves and feel a sense of worthlessness. Negative self talk overwhelms - I won't risk that again. But that doesn't mean I will never let relationships happen again. I do my upmost to make sure I know someone well before I let a bond form. Then no hurt occurs. And their is minimal risk.

Please dont let this stop you from forming meaningful relationships in the future @Zoe7. Please think about what I do to protect myself - it really is full proof. Holding back emotionally (detach your heart) until a relationship is nurtured and you are sure they are genuine will protect you from having your spirit broken. Mine was time and time again but I still managed to find a few close meaningful relationships. They are rare.

I can have friendships, care about others and at the same time detach emotionally. That's how I survive at my volunteer work - I see so many people in tragic circumstances. It's protects my mind/heart so I can still offer the support they need. Otherwise grief could overtake, what you are feeling now.

You now need time to heal before you can really process any of the above

i have only a few close relationships by doing the above, but they are real, genuine and fulfilling. Let yourselves heal my friends and in time consider opening your hearts fully only to those who are worthy of it as that is what enriches ones life. Don't deprive yourself because a few could not see or value your inner beauty. Genuine people are out there. Love you both xx💕

@utopia I just feel incredibly lost and empty - like any meaning in my life has evaporated. I know that in this moment I can't see through the pain and to be honest I don't think I want to because what is on the other side is not somewhere I want to be.

Looking after our well being is paramount to keeping us as well possible. Have the responsibility of fostering a young kitten just 3 months old and what joy she has turned out to be. Good for my physical as well as my mental well being. I have a small unit and the kitten/cat lives inside as we can have a pet but with certain conditions. Trust each forum member's weekend is going as well as can be expected and send hug n hugs to each person. Cheers from Bimby2