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Unknown userMember
I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.
In response to: Just checking in.
Unknown userMember
All good @Former-Member 😊 hi 👋 back at ya. There's been some heavy stuff so I get that it's hard to come in on.
In response to: Just checking in.
Unknown userMember
Hi @Former-Member - just read your reply re abandonment issues. Sorry that I am behind the apeball a bit. I am being pulled in different directions here at home between reading posts.
It did help Thankyou. It tells me that we all handle things differently. I would of given anything for someone to take an interest in me when I was a child at home. No one ever said "I love you" "how are you" "how was your day". I was largely ignored. So I learnt quickly to be very independent. I never relied on a partner. If they showed any signs of neglect towards me I would lose interest in them overnight. I had this huge wall - and no one could touch my heart except my first born. I never felt love like it. When that bond was destroyed it nearly ended me. So my fear of abandment is losing my children - different relationship but I think the same grief. But I must admit that I have strengthened in that area too as my daughter has/is hurting me too much. I will always love her but could live without her as long as we have regular contact.
Even though I liked having a partner, everyone does, I couldn't, didn't, trust anyone enough to get attached. Until I meant my present husband. He persisted until he got through to me - it took years but now he is part of me. If anything happened to him I would dissolve into grief.
You have a beautiful heart @Former-Member and although I don't know your whole story I would say you have given it to the wrong people and had it badly hurt. Like my daughter has. I have seen her despair. And that can drive a dagger straight through the heart. I can understand the fear of not wanting to go through that pain of betrayal or loss again. And with my daughter she cannot be alone - anything is better than that to her
. I am different - being abused or neglected is worse to me as those childhood scars although healed are never forgotten. I like peace. I would rather be alone than that but like anyone would dread that scenario; lonliness is a terrible thing and something we all hope to avoid. And the fear of that can take over.....I sometimes fear that as my husband has been battling cancer for 18 yrs now. But I decided to trust that somehow I would be looked after that way. And put my needs/fears there in the laps of the Gods whilst I do my best to nurture those special relations. What will be will be........And the fear of abandonment can lift.
You are a beautiful person @Former-Member, you will never be alone. The right person, the right people - those who are genuine and are meant to be for you will "never abandon you". Have faith in you and the gift that you are to others. Hugs 💕
In response to: Just checking in.
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
@Former-Member
Well it makes a lot of sense and puts your situation into a perspective .. it is real ..its important .. I can get behind you .. privacy is important too.. but without key bits of knowledge .. lives can be lost .. thats my bottom line .. its a duty of care .. yeah .. my post was an over share .. sorry .. just trying to help .. cos denial cost my sibs dearly .. I'll edit it to give your eyes a break ..
glad distraction helped .. and you slept
Hi @Former-Member
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
@Former-Member @Former-Member @Appleblossom @utopia @TAB @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @BlueBay @Shaz51
Welcome @PixieMay
Not up to joining in tonight but wanted to say hi and hope everyone is ok! 
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Unknown userMember
No yours wasn't for the same reasons @Appleblossom that you listed. It all helps to build a picture that helps us to help each other. I think you recently edited post for your son anonymity too. I'm thinking I need to but I think it helps to know our loved ones situations too to bring perspective even if it's only briefly available 💜🤗
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Unknown userMember
PS @Appleblossom awesome job on the technology 👍😁💜
ill be solo too NYE. Kids all out. We'll have to catch up then on the forum with whoever else is around. 💜🤗
In response to: Just checking in.
TABSenior Contributor
..er .I didn't mention tooth ? @Former-Member but yes always ongoing and yes was kuzza's lol @Kurra 
In response to: Just checking in.
TABSenior Contributor
Noice @PeppiPatty ..pretty colours 
..hmm only diagnoses were depression repeatedly then anxiety etc etc then stopped seeing people years ago, tried to muddle thru myself.. I think he re father who I ranted on endlessly about when first came on here is pretty much out of control re me and getting enabled by people and am not able to cope with his *hit atm.. brother smoothed things over today, felt a bit silly having someone virtually speak for me in front of me,but all I could do was look at him re father as latest, milder pile of demand words fell from his mouth.. anyhoo, saw nieces and nephews had good long chat with brother, will go back there tomorrow
In response to: Just checking in.
TABSenior Contributor
..Hi @Former-Member ..yeah put a few bits on here or coffee chat thread tonight went really well thankyou for asking
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Hi All,
All your messages have really helped me geting through my son's difficult time. I've had space while thinking that I've had supportinve people around me chattering away and keeping close to me.
@Former-Member you have never over shared. When I first joined, I rember having that feeling for a long time then, just......threw the dishwater out of the tub and wrote my life story. the dirty water flew in the air everywhere and splashed all over the pavement.
@Former-Member I love your writing. I think that you wrote that you were never asked 'how Are you,' when you were little or a teenager......havent we all girls experienced that and havent we all taken into our bodies all in different ways. I like very much how you write it because I felt it, I felt you and then you wrote about your husband......is he your healing person ?
@Former-Member how are you this morning ? Can we imagine going over to @Appleblossom s ( you don't mind do you Apple ?) with @Former-Member @TAB @Zoe7 @Zoe7 an @Bella2 @Decadian @Former-Member an @Shaz51 @Former-Member and drinking coffee infused with apricot and listening to music ? Can Arlo come? Can you come @Jacques and @Former-Member ? Maybe @Faith-and-Hope can too. @NikNik @CherryBomb and mods.
@TAB I'm not quite sure how a dude with hats and a personality will go......but are you going to try with your Dad again ? Is this what your saying ? The only respite I have ever had with my very angry and innappropriate Mum is when I've completely cut her out of my life for a while .......I used to be on here going on and on at her disgusting treatment of me. Even my Psychotherapist sees me for this tiny amount of money because she saw her at a function and realised everything I was complaining about was true..........
I'm not making this personal or anything but @TAB ....do you need the stress ?
On another fab. note..... All is good in my tiny world.
I was suppossed to get the fasting blood test done at 8am this morning but I just woke up and fed myself a yummy salad with egg and cheese and cucumber and Paul Newman's honey mustard dressing......so will try again Monday morning.....
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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