not feeling good

@BlueBay you are very worthy of staying connected to your recovery and your supports and strategies. Those feelings that crop up when you hit a 'pot hole' will resonate with many here and you're supported. Keep driving through that pot hole. You know there's even road ahead. Bumps and feeling bogged happens, keep going there!

Ochre

@Former-Member There really is no point. My life was destroyed by the memories of when I was sexually abused as a child. A little girl life taken away. I can’t deal with this snymire. I am sick of psychs counselling therapy and hospitals. And meds. I hate meds. I don’t want them anymore. I hate everything g.

My abxiety is high and my anger is worse.

I just want to be left alone to think if my pathetic life

I’m an adult now that can’t wirk things out

can’t make decisions

csnt even get better

whst a pathetic person sm I ??

Hi @BlueBay

I think standing and walking all day - and retail jobs usually mean that - is really hard - esp for your back - if you were working everyday you would get used to it physically but I understand - it may have caused a problem with your blood pressure too - I am glad you are going to ask your doctor about that

The weather has been pleasant but so cold - that could affect the way you are feeling as well - and you have been working hard on your issues lately - issues with Huffnpuff - they are really hard for you to deal with because he is not into taking a role in the marriage working - that is really hard yards

I get it that you have to get back to your other therapist - you have been working on your marital problems - it would be a good idea to keep your regular worker up to date on how that is working - or not - and how hard it is - and waiting for huffnpuff to deal with his share is wearing you down

That's so hard to do and so important

Dec

Aw @BlueBay

I wrote the above post before I read how bad you are feeling today

You are not pathetic - you are one of the strongest people I have ever met - so dedicated to your family - just remember you are emotional and all of your moods fly around and make everything seem worse - your feelings are real but they are not the truth - you are a much better person than you realise

Your abusers did take your little girl life away by destroying your innocence but they have too much power now - so take that back for yourself

I understand that your moods let all your hard work fly out for a time but you get through it - you are so strong - you just feel weak

The circumstances are rotten - I get it - and I know you are sick of all of the medication and therapy

Letting it be your whole life though - that's not at all good - you are worth so much more

Today is the day for self-care - the weather is beautiful - I will be taking a walk later - I hope you can too

Dec - sending hugs

I’m so over doing everything for everyone.

I’m not coping

it fiesbt matter snymire

I’m over it

I’m so angry

I can’t control my anger my anxiety or my BPD

@Owlunar @Former-Member it’s so hard

this life is extremely difficult to cope with

I don’t want to see or speak to anyone

Wish I could shut the world out

Wouldn't you feel abandoned then @BlueBay - if we all went away

I have to go out soon - getting my nightmare of a haircut repaired by my new hairdresser - I am looking forward to that so much - and hoping I can walk part of the way - the shine has gone off the weather for now but still - walking is great

Take time for yourself - there is no need to do everything for everyone else - the other people in your household - except for A - are adults - they can care for themselves - it's time for self-care

Dec

Hi @BlueBay , sorry today is being so hard for you. I know its not just today, but, rather an accumulation of things that probably feel like they have built up. Life, at times can feel impossible, but, usually we can bumble our way through it.

As @Owlunar mentioned make today a self help today. Shut yourself away and just focus on yourself. Concentrate on your breathing and trying to be calm and regain control of your emotions as best you can. You are a corageous, compassionate, brave and wonderful person. You can get through this dark time.

Hey @BlueBay We hear you here in the forums, and want to know we all are backing you and admire how strong you are

Hi @Former-Member why don’t I feel strong.

I’m tired of everything in my life