not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I know you are at work today - I hope the clients all tell you how beautiful today is with the sunshine - even the frost - I bet it was cold last night where you live - it was up here

Your little gd sounds wonderful - such a child is a joy forever - my d was such a child - the rose of my life - and my gd is the other rose of my life - pretty sure it's the same plant

I remember that prophetic dream you had - way back - it's glorious to have a dream like that - and here A is - and she has said "Nonna" too - I remember how great it was when my kids got into "Mum-Mum-Mum" and "Daddle-Daddle"

This is certainly time for you to remember - and I also hope that the despair of last week is easier - this will be around until somehow you sort out your marriage -

Are you seeing a therapist this week? Or next week? - I know you have to sort out therapy for some official reason atm which wouldn't make you feel any better

Okay - it's sunny today - I hope work is reasonable -

Dec

@BlueBay . I enjoyed hearing all about A and how she is growing up.

Bought a smile to my face. ❤

I’m so glad my post made you smile @utopia ❤️

A is growing up way too quickly.

@BlueBay Aww, it was lovely to read your post, little A sounds wonderful 🙂

After much stress these past few months, my son, his partner and our beautiful little granddaughter went back to the mothers house to pack their things ready to move back here tomorrow.

The news didn’t go down very well, so my husband and I have to head off very early in the morning with a couple of vehicles and trailers as they’ve been told they have to have ALL their belongings out of the house by tomorrow. My sons partner expected the news to be met with hostility, which it was, so I’ll feel so much better tomorrow night when we have them back here safe and sound and they can live their lives the way they want and bring up that little girl in a peaceful environment. It’s going to be a long 4hr drive to get them, but I’m also happy there is a 4hr gap between the other grandmother and ourselves.

I hope you had a nice weekend, it has been very chilly here, a very crunchy frost under foot this morning.

Wish me luck tomorrow - I think we’re going to need it ❤️❤️

Oh @Razzle I’ll be thinking of you all tomorrow. It will be so good once you’re all back at your place and they won’t have to go back.

I’m sure it will be tense. Will the grandmother be there? Hope not.

Sending you my love. Looking forward to hearing how it all goes. ❤️❤️

@Owlunar I’m seeing my old psychologist in two weeks time. Then I will need to refer myself back to the one at the hospital.

Today was a beautiful afternoon. But I was at wirk all day. I hate Monday’s because I wirk 8.30-5.30pm. It’s a long day. But at least I have the next two days off.

My son is coming over for dinner tomorrow night. It will be good to see him. And my d partner is coming also. So it will be nice to have everyone at home for dinner.

Seeing my doctor this week. I haven’t been feeling well. I will tell my doctor. Today at work I felt weird in my head for a few seconds. I had to stop what I was doing and just stood there. Not sure what that was.

Hope your day was good. ❤️

@BlueBay Thanks. I’m not sure if she’ll be there or not - I’m hoping not but I’m pretty sure she’ll be hovering around, trying to intimidate. My sons partner said that she’ll cop a fair bit of blame as her mother never takes responsibility for anything, it’s always every body else’s fault. But she also said she’ll also place a lot of blame on me - she is extremely jealous of me. I have no idea why, I’ve never done anything to her, in fact while they were living with her she kind of held all the cards and made our lives a misery. I won’t be going into the house at all, my sons partner has said that is only placing myself in harms way - I don’t need to be told twice.

I’ll keep you posted.

@BlueBay it’s all turned to shit pretty quick here. Got a text from my son last night to say they are now staying at his partners mothers house and not coming here. The other grandmother had threatened his partner that she would be cut off from her family if they moved out. She didn’t offer to pull her head in, didn’t apologise for all the things she’s done to them, she hasn’t offered to change and stop being a psychopath, just threatened them even more. Nothing will change except she’ll probably treat them worse for even suggesting to wanting to move.

They would rather live in that house of violence, being treated that badly than call her bluff and move out. My sons partner has been texting my husband this morning with sweet little messages that this is their decision and they want us to respect it blah blah blah. This isn’t their decision at all.

I’m DONE, I’m over it. If they can’t accept our help now they never will. I’m sick of being dragged round this roller coaster for nothing. The other grandmother made it impossible for us to see the baby before, she’s only going to dig in further now. I’ve lost them all. I’m so sad and angry and hurt that I don’t even want to see my son right now.

And of course my husband has already started up the excuses to defend them. I cried for hours last night, I haven’t stopped crying since I got up this morning. I feel like my head is going to explode.

You know what? The last few sessions with my councillor we have talked about how I feel about myself as a mother. I was never told I was a good mother by

my husband, he’d tell me when I wasn’t great, but he’d never say anything when I thought I was getting it right. My councillor has been trying to reinforce all the good things I did, because deep down I’ve always felt a huge failure. Just when I thought maybe I wasn’t so bad, my son chooses to live in a violent abusive house with a psychopath rather than this home with me. Speaks volumes about me

Oh @Razzle I’m so sorry this has turned out so shit. I don’t understand why on earth would your son and partner want to stay there.

I’m angry for what you’re going through.

Hugs my friend ❤️ you’re not a bar person and you’re not a bad mum.

Im struggling but I’ll write another post.

Take care thinking of you

❤️❤️

@Razzle @Owlunar @Ali11

Snd others.

I’m sorry I don’t really want to bother anyone or waste your time

like I waste my doctors time

Just saw my doctor.

I feel anxious really bad that I need broke my zip on my jacket

I don’t care about anything at the moment

Don’t care about life

screwed my life eith droression BPD

nithing is ever going to chsnge

whst is the point ?????