not feeling good

Hi my lovely friend @Owlunar

I’m so grateful to have you in my life on this forum. Over the years you have supported me guided me snd you never gave up on me.

Reading your post and story of your son made me cry. You were snd still a good mum. One that I’m sure he loved you to bits.

Your son had so much love from you it’s obvious in your writing.

Its so hard to read thst he struggled so much. No one deserves such pain.

Im glad thst by me writing is helping you understand what your son went through snd how hard it must have been for him. BPD is a real struggle.

i didn’t realise how hard it is to have it.

I guess wherever I go BPD will be with me forever. If I go to one area and move to another it won’t make much difference because my BPD will still be with me.

It’s upsetting to see he felt unworthy. But I do understand as some days that’s how I feel. Actually this week I had these thoughts.

Your son sounded like a good boy who struggled with BPD and it’s so sad

But looking back you must be proud that you gave him so much love and care.

I feel for you a lot @Owlunar ❤️❤️

At times when I think about my mum abandoning me I get angry and cry.

Im crying now reading thst you’ll never give up on me. Thst is the most uplifting thing I’ve ever had anyone say to me.

No one has ever said that to me. Not my parents nor hubby or kids.

It means a lot to me to hear that from you.

Some days when I’m in a negative state I feel like a little girl agsin wanting to hide away. Screaming and crying to be heard.

And I know I’m certainly heard on here

I often think when writing on here that people wouldn’t support it chst to me because of my BPD snd negativity.

Its such an automatic response that I don’t really notice until someone points it out.

I went to the dietitian yesterday. He was a very nice guy. But of course my BPD came out and I told him I’m fearing of failure of not losing weight. He said I eat pretty well but need to exercise more. He doesn’t want me to weigh at home. He wants me to take it slowly and nit beat myself up if I don’t walk or eat healthy on the day.

Hi to @Razzle @Ali11 @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7

Hi my friend @Razzle

I’ve missed chstting to you ❤️

Thanks fir you reply. I know you understand. I’m so sorry to read you haven’t seen your grandchild or son for a few weeks. That’s really tough 😢

my heart aches for you. But just for now it might be the way it is. I’m hoping your son can see what he’s partner and her mum are like. But it doesn’t make it easy does it?

You’ve got some pretty tough things coming up. Reminders memories anniversaries / these are all so difficult. And not having the support from your husband it’s not easy.

I’m here with A next to me. We’re watching wiggles together.

Here for you always ❤️❤️

Take care

Sending love @BlueBay Happy to hear the dietician was a nice guy, he sounds like he'll be good to work with

hugs my sister @BlueBay

Hugs to you too sis @Shaz51

it’s cold here. Waiting fir A to go to sleep now do we can make home made pizza. How are you? What are you having for dinner?

❤️❤️

verryy tired my sis @BlueBay

should have an early night i think , had a very restless night last night with everything happening

got this annoying headache all day

sorry sis for the venting xoxo

we brought takeaways tonight -- fish and chips

Oh @Shaz51 pls don’t apologise

you need to vent sis

it’s ok

I hope your headache subsides and hope you sleep well

❤️❤️

i fell asleep my sis @BlueBay

so I am going to bed now

hope you have a good sleep

see you tomorrow xx

hello My sister @BlueBay

Hi @Shaz51

I’m a bit emotional tiday. This morning we went to my mums to give her a mother’s day present. She is so negative with everything I say she has an answer for. Omg. She’s complaining of sore swollen fingers from arthritis but won’t take medication or use cream. She says she’s tough snd yo just put up with it. I thought to myself if you’re in thst much psin you would use psin meds.

We stayed fir lunch and then went to see mother in law.

Oh @Shaz51 i can’t do this anymore. She was asleep in her bed holding her little doll. She wouldn’t wake up. She doesn’t know us snymire either. I broke down after a few minutes of seeing her. Hubby suggested we go because it was upsetting me. So we left after 10 mins.

She’s so frail. It’s hirrible to see.

Home now just resting.

What are you up to? How is your mum?

hi everyone @Ali11 @Razzle @Owlunar @Former-Member @oceangirl @Zoe7