not feeling good

Hi @Change123

Thanks for clarifying. I have not heard of this video and I did some searching online and couldn't find anything.

We don't have any connections with Relationships Australia - so I haven't been able to find out any information about this video.

I also did a search on Joy and didn't find anything of hers - so I can't talk much to her talks or the content of them.

I'm not sure if this would be useful for you or if this is the type of informatuon you are looking for - but we have published a guide about BPD which is for people living with BPD and family and friends, whic you can find here.

It does a good job of busting some common myths of BPD and also some info for family and friends on how they can assist.

Sorry I couldn't answer your other question - as I said, I couldn't find the video anywhere online or any information about Joy, to be able to comment.

Thanks for trying @NikNik

I will try and get a copy off my partner.

Hi @Change123

I wonder if you've stumbled upon this book?

'The Buddha and the Borderline' by Kiera Van Gelder

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7192753-the-buddha-and-the-borderline

I felt she did a great job of describing the intensity of having a diagnosis of BPD in reference to relationships, among other things.

I'm not feeling good again. Feeling really depressed like no one cares. How many times do i have to leave a message for my pysch to call me, i am so over him and everyone else.

feeling very destructive, trying to think positive but its not working. nothing ever works. i am so down tonight, crying; why do i always cry, i am sick of crying. that;s all i do 😞

Hi @BlueBay

Kitkat16 - one of the moderators here

Thank you for reaching out when you are feeing so low.

Are you calling your psych to set up an appointment or are you feeling like someone to talk too?

Please don't hestiate to call lifeline :13 11 14 if you feel having someone to talk to you, especially as you mentioned you are feeling self-destructive.

Please take care and look after yourself tonight.

Kitkat16

Hi @BlueBay

I care and so does your family and your forum family here.

What are you doing tomorrow?

Look after yourself tonight and remember to keep looking forward.

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member

I feel as if there's another issue on top of another, layer on layer of problems - and I can't take anymore.

I have to see a gyno next week to see where the missing mirena IUD has gone. Have also fibroids and a cyst. Also waiting any day now for admission back to the private hospital where I was in July for a break. Mentally I need a break but now physically I need it too. Having asthma all last week and in hospital a few times hasn't been good.

I feel that nothing is getting better, nothing is going right for me and all i do is complain. I am so down, really depressed and no one (my support people) don't really get how depressed I am.

I have to go to work today and put on my fake mask to be happy. If that is possilbe. Why should i be happy for others when deep down inside i am not happy.

damn everything, i hate so much at the moment, my life is never ending shit.

where is that light at the end of the tunnel? i don't see it;

why can't i just be loved and cared and supported

i so want to cry this morning, i want to scrream, run away, hide, self destruct - can anyone relate to this?

Hi @BlueBay

You know I relate to this very much and want the same as you

why can't i just be loved and cared and supported

I know we are in different states but I think we have a connection we have almost the exact same issues - I understand - BUG HUGS!!!

I know you hate putting on that mask at work so do I but in some ways its a good thing - I dont know about you but I know I would be worse at home just ruminating over everything - at least work is a distraction. Sometimes the mask can be beneficial, I know some days its so hard to break a smile and act like your life is together when its just falling down around you and no one is helping to pick up the pieces BUT sometimes if you do this long enough through the day and in DBT they say to have a "half smile" on your face not a full one as apparently the brain recognises a half smile more - you actually end up trickin gyour brain into being happy (or able to cope at least). This has happened for me lots of times ! SO DONT BE HAPPY FOR OTHERS BE HAPPY FOR YOU!

This time of year is so bad as well, we dont do the xmas thing as we have no kids and not religious so we just hide but I still get effected when I go to the shops everyone just seems grumpy, rushing about, pushing and shoving and basically not thoughts for the person next to them. So it still rubs off the negativity which for us is worse.

I understand the suffocating feel soo much - its like you cant breathe and all you want is some space - hopefully when you go into hospital you will get that and once they find your mirena IUD you will be far less stressed.

Gee I'm glad I didnt get one of those "mirena" I was supposed to be becuase of going through peri menopause at one stage I was getting my periods every 2 - 3 weeks "very draining" but me always getting side effects decided not to and now I'm the opposite - I get them and then I dont for a few months. Lets hope once we are over this hormonal crap it will helps as well - dont forget my doctor even said in the dark ages women would be put away because of this and we have BPD so it naturally makes that worse - even the pysch who reviewed me said that.

Thinking of you !

Hi @-karma-

Thanks for that @BlueBay

I have to invest in some books, problem is I'm not a big reader not because I dont find the time but I think I should make the time might be good to have a more disciplined approach.