not feeling good

@BlueBay @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @eudemonism @MDT @Zoe7 @Owlunar Some people need more connections than others. May be your psy is someone who is a loner and don’t need at all more than a couple of people. It probably just a misunderstanding between you and him. That happens with any relationships. He probably was not attacking you and calling you an alcoholic. He just has limited understanding himself. You will be in a position to educate him. I don’t think you are overly dependent. In a lot of cultures, people who are good at connections and keep up with those are highly regarded.

i am having it tough too after my psy session. No exercises yet.

I will say some prayers for us all and hope to get to some exercises.

Take care.

@eudemonism May be your natural personality is your best therapy outcome. You know yourself than anyone. Anyway, it is important to listen to professional opinions because they have a safety level. But you are unique and your life belongs to you. So you live to your pleasings.Enjoy what you do. You are smart and realistic. However you live, it is an intelligent and realistic life.

I have struggled with lots of big feelings @BlueBay

Buckets of tears and buckets of anger and fear and shame and guilt and and ...

What do you think about the ideas in distress tolerance BB?

What do you think about black and white thinking?

Taking care of others can help us learn to take care of ourselves.

Hi @Appleblossom

I have a huge problem with black and white thinking. It’s good or bad. No in between.

Distress tolerance is hard. I find it extremely difficult to sit eith my emotions and let it be. I tend to want to fight it and can’t sit there and let the emotion go. It’s duffucult.

Self soothe is hard at times. Depending on the emotion and how strong it is I can self soothe or distract myself by going fir a walk or water the garden or make a coffee. But that only happens if the emotion is tiny.

I think a lot of my problems are to do with abandonment and seeking reassurance from others. All my life my mum has a lot of control over me. Deciding for me a lot of the decisions. Even in my married life.

I have no confidence in myself. It is so gone thst I don’t know how to get back up snd get strong.

At the moment I feel like a broken child hurting in a corner all cuddled up alone. I feel lost scared and it hurts.

It’s 5am and I’m lying here unable to sleep. Didn’t sleep was awake at 2am eith racing thoughts.

I’m laying here crying

sometimes it’s hard to breathe

concentrate or even have a quiet moment

so mych anger guilt frustration hate

Not a good morning. Feel so tired really moody with my D tiday. I was thinking this morning I have NO time alone. If it’s nit hubby it’s my D or A.

I need a holiday on my own - as if that’s going to ever happen.

I just want to curl up and cry. I want to be held and loved. 😢😢

@BlueBay We all want to be held and loved, even those who might fight it off on the surface.

Why do you want to cling to black & white thinking ... all good or all bad? Could you maybe start a project of finding one "in between" idea ... and writing it down, every day for a week? Look around or

Do you remember I posted about laying in the long grass in a country orphanage, feeling hidden and private. There was not a lot of privacy in an orphanage but those moments I remember as very calm and peaceful. Believe me I have done a lot of crying too. We have known each other for a few years now. I think it is great the way you keep getting to work, care for your kids and grandkids. For a long time I just could not turn off the tap of my tears ... but eventually they started to dry up ...

Take Care of you BB.

@eudemonism @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Former-Member @MDT @Owlunar Good afternoon, every one . Hope you are all having a good, better day.

Took mum out shopping and had lunch.Visited my uncle on the way.

Feel intense. Like a life long prisoner since birth, gradually freed at fifty. Learning the ways of life now, peeling off my father enclosing me mentally and emotionally for so long. Thanks to forum friends that I don’t feel so alone in the harsh world. The deep anger, sadness, loss of best years and frustrations at myself for nor being able to reverse the birth situation at all.

Try to do things positive if I can. My accounts are in mess. Will try to start a bit of clearing this afternoon.

Will have a go at exercises again.

@eudemonism For a long time, I was in and out of hospitals and had no control over the increasing traumas of my life. I felt the th8ng it taught me was prolonged faith, in the goodness of the universe and external life.

I know it’s hard for you now. But may be holding onto faith and gradually do one thing at a time, you will come out of this and eventually have some face to face accepting and supportive friends.

I will have coffee now and say some prayers for all of us soon.

Have a good afternoon, everyone. Hope it will turn out well.