not feeling good

Can’t sleep head is throbbing so much. Took psin relief

oh my head

bee my blood pressure is trally high

don’t know whst ti do

@Ali11 @Zoe7 @Shaz51

@BlueBay @MDT @Zoe7 @Ali11 @Shaz51 lavender is very good for that. I will say some prayers for you and everyone.

Take care.

Lavender makes me sick even more @Meowmy thanks for the suggestion

@BlueBay @If it is really bad, there is after hour locum doctor who can come to your house and bulk bill. They may help.good luck.

What a night. Throbbing headache all night. I think my blood pressure is really high. I’m now at the doctors. He’ll check my blood pressure.

Day off work today and tomorrow which is good. Just what I need.

Hi @BlueBay

I know you were planning to work all day yesterday but with that migraine you had I think you may not have been able to do it - but perhaps you did - but that is beside the point right now

You dreamed about your childhood abuse - I guess that's a nightmare that will recur - time does pass and the nightmares become less but you are reminded and it happens - there may be ways to deal with the nightmares - I think the only thing is after you wake up and breathe - get out of bed and do whatever you have to do - turn on the TV or read and have a cup of whatever and try and relax - easier said that done

Harder to do than relax is to write down the end of your dream the way you wish it could be - imagine pushing your attackers into a icy cold swimming pool and telling them to get off your back - btw - I had a recurring dream - I wrote a different ending and in time I found I could wake myself up - I rarely get the dream now but yes - people have them - I understand

But then you had the migraine and your BP was high - okay - you need a plan about your BP - have you got your own monitor? If you do then when your BP reaches a certain level then get an ambulance and go to hospital - work out the level with your doctor - I'm sure you already know what the outcome of high BP can be already -

It seems your BP could be stress related - which mine is - it still needs to be treated - as does dehydration when you have a migraine - you have a lot of stressors in your life and the tension can cause nightmares, migraines and high BP -

Not easy to deal with

Yes - you have helped me to understand my son a great deal - I will write about that later when you are feeling better - I think you have the day off work today - you can talk things more quietly today

Thinking of you - a bad migraine can take a day or longer to get over - try and be kind to yourself - you deserve that much

Dec

Hi @Meowmy

It sounds as if your father grabbed you and sucked the life out of you for his own emotional needs then cast you off - and repeated this - draining your of the right to be your own person. That is a very selfish way for a parent to behave - almost vampiric - it was very cruel

But you are striving to find your own life now and you went to work yesterday - well done - and you manage your life as well as you can now and this is no small thing

But it does leave you alone and somehow lost in many ways - I guess it's hard for you to trust men now after your father used you - I actually can't imagine that

But did you know? - well you will know - when Queen Victoria was widowed in 1861 she took her youngest child into her bed an grasped her like some kind of mourning toy and I think this happened to you and it is really unrealistic for a person to imagine a child can replace their neediness and I am sorry this happened to you

But at 50 you still have a lot of life left - you are not over the hill yet - when I got my ex-h out of my life I went ahead and had what I call my second adolescence - I had the independence and maturity I did not have when I was younger but I had an income (a job) somewhere to live independently and a car and it was just a case of taking life as it came - not always easy but I lived it.

Now I am much older and live a life alone comfortably - pleasing myself -

Life will come along Meowmy - grasped each day as it comes - some will be good - some not - but your choices are your own

All the best - I think you have your aging mother to care for - I think that's you - that can't be easy -

Thinking of you

Dec

Thankyou @Owlunar

@I’m sitting in the car at the beach. Going to buy a coffee but I csnt syop cruing. My dictir said my blood pressure was ok tiday. Wants me to rest. Thinks I may have picked up a bug as I feel like throwing up.

I can’t syop crying which won’t help with my headache.

Appt this arvo eith my psychiatrist.

My doctor is so caring.

Now I need to breathe and calm myself down.

Some days I just want to give up.

Its so hard to have BPD. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with.

Tears still rolling down my face.

BPD sucks I hate it so much

You are right @BlueBay BPD can be very hard to manage. It also makes for very compassionate, highly intuitive intelligent human beings. All of which I believe you are. What's going on for you? Do you need to reach out to some supports?